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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Escapedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ellesmera
    ASL Info:    18. Female. England
    Elite Ratio:    1.6 - 43/263/115
    Words: 141
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1184
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 932



    Description:
       ummm my signiture on my forum


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    dotsEscapedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I have the essence on my lips,
    you cannot trace my tender kiss,
    i ahve feelings,
    you cannot understand,
    i am from the promised land,
    where the angels seek to find me,
    this runnaway,
    this tyrant,
    your fantasy,
    i run with to wolf of fortune,
    you are spun deeper in to the moon,
    your gaze cannot find me,
    but your heart still seeks,
    i have the essence of your tender kiss.......

    i run away,
    i run alone,
    you will not find me,
    in a home,
    i have no bed,
    no food,
    no life,
    all i have,
    all i need,
    i can carry,
    on my back,
    i run with the wolf,
    wild and free,
    you can search,
    but you won't find me,
    i love to learn,
    you will learn to love,
    freindship,
    and romance,
    fall in to none of those above.




    Submitted on 2006-05-13 02:41:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      ...first thing, your running alone with the wolf... second good poem. I like it alot and i like the line breaks you have in the second stanza.
    you want to write shorter poems, i think either of these stanzas could stand alone.
    | Posted on 2006-11-13 00:00:00 | by Adden Lee | [ Reply to This ]
      very good well done
    | Posted on 2006-10-05 00:00:00 | by draconus | [ Reply to This ]
      i think that it could be a great poem with a little work. i think that you used too amny commas, which made it a little choppy. i think that if you just stretch the lines out a little bit more and cut back on some of the commas, it could be a really powerful piece. keep up the good work.
    | Posted on 2006-05-13 00:00:00 | by maquiladora | [ Reply to This ]
      I think it's a good poem, with alittle polish
    it will be a great work.
    fix your miss spelled words
    and I love the part where you flip on him
    *i love to learn*
    *you will learn to love*
    I look forward to seeing more of your work.
    untill I read you again, Take care.
    The Poorman's Poet.
    | Posted on 2006-05-13 00:00:00 | by Bobby K | [ Reply to This ]


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