[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Escapedots

    Author: ellesmera
    ASL Info:    18. Female. England
    Elite Ratio:    1.6 - 43/263/115
    Words: 141
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1259
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 932

       ummm my signiture on my forum

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I have the essence on my lips,
    you cannot trace my tender kiss,
    i ahve feelings,
    you cannot understand,
    i am from the promised land,
    where the angels seek to find me,
    this runnaway,
    this tyrant,
    your fantasy,
    i run with to wolf of fortune,
    you are spun deeper in to the moon,
    your gaze cannot find me,
    but your heart still seeks,
    i have the essence of your tender kiss.......

    i run away,
    i run alone,
    you will not find me,
    in a home,
    i have no bed,
    no food,
    no life,
    all i have,
    all i need,
    i can carry,
    on my back,
    i run with the wolf,
    wild and free,
    you can search,
    but you won't find me,
    i love to learn,
    you will learn to love,
    and romance,
    fall in to none of those above.

    Submitted on 2006-05-13 02:41:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      ...first thing, your running alone with the wolf... second good poem. I like it alot and i like the line breaks you have in the second stanza.
    you want to write shorter poems, i think either of these stanzas could stand alone.
    | Posted on 2006-11-13 00:00:00 | by Adden Lee | [ Reply to This ]
      very good well done
    | Posted on 2006-10-05 00:00:00 | by draconus | [ Reply to This ]
      i think that it could be a great poem with a little work. i think that you used too amny commas, which made it a little choppy. i think that if you just stretch the lines out a little bit more and cut back on some of the commas, it could be a really powerful piece. keep up the good work.
    | Posted on 2006-05-13 00:00:00 | by maquiladora | [ Reply to This ]
      I think it's a good poem, with alittle polish
    it will be a great work.
    fix your miss spelled words
    and I love the part where you flip on him
    *i love to learn*
    *you will learn to love*
    I look forward to seeing more of your work.
    untill I read you again, Take care.
    The Poorman's Poet.
    | Posted on 2006-05-13 00:00:00 | by Bobby K | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]