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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Love Isdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: mugsy
    ASL Info:    60/M/Victoria B.C. Can.
    Elite Ratio:    4.03 - 129/90/29
    Words: 56
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 187
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 392



    Description:
       Just a few thoughts that came together with a meaty thunk---


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLove Isdots
    -------------------------------------------


    A shadow in time is love,
    Scarce held
    Like a summer breeze
    Or moonbeam in the hand,
    Like a quivering bird
    In fall
    Puffed up against the cold
    Drought of song
    Soon to join withered leaves
    Dappled on the frosty ground,
    Where warm hearts did soar
    Now winter winds roar
    And love blows through
    The trees....




    Submitted on 2006-05-13 18:38:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      it is very beautifully expressed . i have not really felt the blooming love to face the withering of it . but i am sure it would really be less painful
    | Posted on 2006-05-13 00:00:00 | by ams | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this. Can't exactly say why. The imagery is great but it's more than that. There's a wisdom here too and maybe that's what really pulls me in.
    | Posted on 2006-05-13 00:00:00 | by feather | [ Reply to This ]
      "A shadow in time is love,
    Scarce held
    Like a summer breeze
    Or moonbeam in the hand,
    Like a quivering bird
    In fall
    Puffed up against the cold
    Drought of song
    Soon to join withered leaves
    Dappled on the frosty ground,
    Where warm hearts did soar
    Now winter winds roar
    And love blows through
    The trees...."

    So love transforms in time from the lovely songbird to the dead leaf riding the cold blast of winter? Talk about re-evaluated relationships! The overall tone and vocabulary are quite good but I do have one nitpick you may use or discard as you see fit. Dispose of all capitalization and any hint of punctuation; neither are necessary for this write and it stands perfectly without them.

    Very nicely written.
    Take care of yourself.
    Bill.
    | Posted on 2006-06-03 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]



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