By the way, I think you're wonderful,
And your smile outshines the moon;
Your laughter reminds me of a waterfall-
It can pull me out of my gloom.
Did you know I think you're great?
I think of you all the time-
I'd give anything to be with you
'Cause you make my broken love rhyme.
By the way, I think you're great
But I've already said that once before;
I know you know what I'm trying to say-
I love you, nothing less or more.
| So cute to see young people writing like this... Very cute indeed... I like this little piece and the repetition it had in the beggining of every stanza... trying to bang in the person's head how you feel for them... which sometimes works... not always though... the words always switch up on you and the person thinks you are just faking to be with them... it is a very nice write though and I dig it... just not as much as I dig other writings on here... very cute and heartfelt write though and hope you just keep writing... |
Jose J. Ortiz aka Josyman
|| Posted on 2006-05-13 00:00:00 | by josymanthegreat | [ Reply to This ] || A grand write. Very effective use of repetition and rhyme.|
Quite profound. If you haven't already, give it to Cory... :)
Anyways, an keep up the good work!
|| Posted on 2006-06-30 00:00:00 | by SilverLightning | [ Reply to This ] |