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    dots Submission Name: House-guest, House-keeperdots

    Author: secretpoet
    ASL Info:    20f
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 18/7/5
    Words: 272
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1490
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1739

       I wanted to do a piece involving sweeping.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHouse-guest, House-keeperdots

    There is the scratch, scritch-scratch
    Of bristles on the hardwood floor
    From where she’s been sweeping at your tears.
    You’re leaving water marks on her tables,
    Rings around cups, collars, eyes.
    She’s kept quiet, content enough
    To piece together your broken heart,
    Like mother’s rare china through slick hands -
    But the only designs in this red are from the hairline cracks
    Always healing, always resealing.

    You lie on her couch, to the wall, to her face,
    You curl as though the hearth had been the womb.
    She passes her worry by filling your stomach and your mind
    With ease.
    Her hands are wearing thin,
    Calluses from where she’s gripped the broom against the storm,
    Your faces red, though all the tears were falling for you.
    You sleep, she sweeps,
    The housemaid to your loneliness,
    Making sure you have enough to lose.

    You went into her house as a fool boy,
    While she was but a fool girl;
    You leave now, bearing a sword before you,
    Foolish child, looking to start wars with the sons of monks,
    Bearing your shield before you proudly –
    Is that the way you shall return to that lonely house,
    Or will you come, back down, upon your shield,
    Long after that lonely woman has become a crone?
    She will not feel anger for the blood on your sword,
    Or know the number of heads taken, warrior, maiden;
    She will forgive you for all your acts, your blindness,
    Your callous nature, your ill mood;
    All these will she wipe away with her witch’s broom,
    But she cannot forgive your leaving
    Without her.

    Submitted on 2006-05-13 21:27:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This reminds me of the relationship between humans and dogs. Naturally, animals are set to preserve their own kind through reproduction and physical defense. That is their nature. But when you place an animal in the heart of a human home, time and interaction is enough for both sides to consider each other family.

    Not that I'm saying that housekeepers are animals... of course not. What I'm saying is... I believe that family, given the weight of the word nowadays, should be allowed to look pass genetics or the circumstances of ones birth.

    Well... since you want me to bash it... this theme is not exactly something new. That's it...

    Now, going back to how good it is...

    The fairytal-ish analogies were a nice touch because it shows some underlying notion of breaking through stereotypes and making your point clear.

    Love in whatever form... sadistic, twisted, irrational, passionate, merciful, etc... is universal.
    | Posted on 2006-05-13 00:00:00 | by ANGELO | [ Reply to This ]
      i really raelly really really like this one.
    holy crap.
    i feel really connected to this, as im sure you do, for reasons we both know.
    i can really sense the underlying um message if you will within it.
    basically, the girl does everything she can to try and make teh guy happy
    and hes still not.
    you get what i mean.
    and the imagery.
    you remember teh scene in harry potter six with the girl in that slytherin house who falls in love with tom marvolo or whateveR?
    it reminds me of that
    or a cinderella-y scene.
    | Posted on 2006-05-13 00:00:00 | by andnow | [ Reply to This ]

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