Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The little green creaturedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ChrystalR
    ASL Info:    23/Female/Norway
    Elite Ratio:    5.14 - 126/121/58
    Words: 462
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 844
    Average Vote:    4.5000
    Bytes: 2778



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe little green creaturedots
    -------------------------------------------


    The little green creature.
    Some wondered who he was
    My past and my future
    The picture of my vase.

    He sat on the riverbank.
    Looking for his queen.
    A woman to give everything
    He had seen in his dream.

    Sigh, did the creature sadly.
    They told him the same.
    Unattractive and poor
    Nothing, but shame.

    Who would love him?
    See beneath the green skin.
    Past the foolishness
    Given him by Gwyn.

    The goddess of the underworld,
    Who created this thing.
    She made him in anger,
    Not worthy of loving

    Small tears running softly
    Down his rubber chin.
    Feeling so bitterly
    How his kind never win.

    Swimming in the water.
    An innocent lovely bride.
    The groom stood waiting.
    For the coming tide

    Her head turned softly
    To the forest ground.
    Feeling the creature
    Before she almost drowned.

    Without hesitating
    Ignoring the screaming groom.
    Threw himself in the water
    Her body, light as a plume.

    On the riverbank they sat
    The monster and the bride.
    Her eyes so green, loving him.
    He felt like a god, divine.

    Broken was the moment
    When the deadly arrow came
    Splitting the harshly air.
    Feebly he mumbled her name.

    Crying gently the beauty did.
    Believing the creature was dead.
    The groom came happily
    He bragged of his excellent aim.

    The blow was hard,
    And he stumbled confused.
    Rubbing his chin
    Violently accused.

    “Leave this place
    Never to return
    This marriage of ours
    Can rot and burn”

    “Do you love him?
    You whore forlorn
    The ugly forest creature
    In the underworld born.”

    “I find that he is perfect
    As gentle and as true.
    Rather I would just sit right here
    Than spend my life with you”

    When he had left, she bent her head.
    The ground now filled with mist.
    Our pitiful dirty creature
    Received in the end a kiss

    The queen from the river
    Gave him all she could.
    And in return he gave her
    Everything that is good.

    Never more, lost they were
    They shared the dream of one.
    Given them by faith it self
    And thus the weaker won.

    The little green creature.
    Some wondered who he was
    The king of a queen
    Loved despite his flaws.




    Submitted on 2006-05-14 05:46:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hi Chrystal,
    Gosh there is a lot of hiden meanings in this poem of yours!.
    I would guess from some of the verses you have had a rough time of it and this is the way you release your feelings. The imagry of the little green monster with warts and all being loved for who he is not what he looks like is a strong one and the beauty who seems hime for who he is is as real as life itself. We are all judged by the way we look, the we act, the way we dress, if we have tattoos or pierced ears nose etc. Sometimes we judge wrongly, no i will correct that, 90% of the time we judge incorrectly.
    There you are you see, a lot from what is a good poem but with great hiden depths, i might be totally wrong but there we are, please don't judge me on it!
    Colin.
    | Posted on 2006-09-03 00:00:00 | by Colin Douglas | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a perfect poem you have written! I don't really have anything to say except how you wrote it masterfully. It just goes to show, whatever something may look like on the outside, it's truly what's on the inside that counts. I probably would have chose the little green creature to the groom anytime...probably.

    Great writing.
    | Posted on 2006-05-15 00:00:00 | by HelixDarksin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    103175

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Bond written by saartha
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Push written by JanePlane
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Linger written by saartha
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    The Promise written by annie0888
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Incubus written by monad
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    This written by Chelebel

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry