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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Strangerdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: MMISS
    Elite Ratio:    2.68 - 502/489/149
    Words: 243
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 173
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1337



    Description:
       I KNOW THE GRAMMAR ISN'T PERFECT NOR THE RHYMING, BUT I'D JUST APPRECIATE SOME FEEDBACK! THANKS


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Strangerdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I pulled up a chair and I ordered a drink
    I just needed to sit here a while and just think
    The pressures of life goin fast through my head
    I had to go and search for peace somewhere

    A stranger comes by and asks if He could sit a spell
    I said, Alright Sir, I guess you might as well
    But if Youre lookin to make some kind of friend
    Don't count on me
    I'll be leavin alone when I'm done here

    So You can tell me your story after I tell you mine
    But let me take a few drinks first to numb whats inside
    Because this world doesn't care how a heart is dyin
    So lets keep it between us if you want to talk a while

    Well it seemed like forever but I said what I had to say
    I said it feels like lifes over for me almost everyday
    He didnt seem surprised , I thought He'd heard it before
    But I figured out why when He told me His story

    He said let it be no surprise that I heard your cries
    Yeah and I've heard you so many times
    And I know all your pain because I've suffered the same
    And if you'll just hold on, give it to Me and let it all go
    I'll give you Peace like you've never known







    Submitted on 2006-05-15 02:02:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      found god at a bar??? although Im not too much into religion, the poem/prose is a nice thought and i like the message. come burdened and leave lighter even though you are a little drunk
    | Posted on 2006-05-19 00:00:00 | by mimi | [ Reply to This ]
      The lack of regular rhyme did not matter to me. I like it the way it is. Sad, but uplifting and quite inspirational.

    Another good write from you.

    Frank.
    | Posted on 2006-05-18 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      i thought that it was good. it had good content in it. it has a certain sadness to it, but the ending was uplifting.
    | Posted on 2006-05-15 00:00:00 | by maquiladora | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, I love this poem. It starts out on a kinda sad note but the ending is great! You did a wonderful job on this one, I give it a vote of 5 and a grade of A+!
    | Posted on 2006-05-15 00:00:00 | by psycho_1 | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh wow...this is soo touching. I absolutely loved it! When you came to the end it almost made me want to cry! You have such great talent!! This is great!!

    Love,
    Kris
    | Posted on 2006-05-17 00:00:00 | by Raindrops | [ Reply to This ]



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