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    dots Submission Name: newest initiate to the mysteriesdots

    Author: brokenmuse
    ASL Info:    26/F/AL
    Elite Ratio:    3.29 - 756/734/161
    Words: 93
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 766
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 624


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsnewest initiate to the mysteriesdots

    she always seemed
    to be ethereal
    not of this world
    in her silk and chiffon
    now she dons the
    uraeus crown of
    elightened one
    forged in flame
    tempered in the
    heat of the desert sun
    gath'ring water by Nile bank
    she rejoices in
    her newfound rank
    she is light
    she is dark
    she is the destroyer
    of evil, and the creatrix
    as she dons her new robes
    and she welcomes her title
    her soul soars with joy
    the new Urt Hekau,
    High Priestess of Auset
    the newest mistress of Philae

    Submitted on 2006-05-15 19:20:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      well I liked this, but felt the end needed a wrap up type line like

    and she welcomes her title
    her soul soars with joy
    the new Urt Hekau,
    High Priestess of Auset
    the newest mistress of Philae
    On the islands edge
    she scanned the skies
    while the quiet waters
    by her feet
    her perferct reflection cast.

    just an idea

    | Posted on 2007-09-20 00:00:00 | by koster | [ Reply to This ]
      lol, well yeah you have a lot of mistakes on spelling .. so i suggest you to use come wor corrector or something and well the desire of wanting to use some difficult words doesnt help this writing i suggest you using more comfortable words because those kinds of words are difficlt and you can only use it when the writing needs thoise... i hope you get what i mean .. take care
    and peac3 and love
    and if you have time please take a look to my writing .. and
    have a nice day
    | Posted on 2006-05-15 00:00:00 | by vitoko | [ Reply to This ]

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