[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Trapped Insidedots

    Author: foxy lee
    ASL Info:    20 f/CT/SA
    Elite Ratio:    2.96 - 27/23/10
    Words: 105
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 560
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 729


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTrapped Insidedots

    Beleaguered thoughts of tranquility
    Trapped inside by insufferable walls of negativity
    Restraining goals with heavy might
    Retaining a sea of happiness
    behind strong iron gates

    The happy sea and tranquil thoughts long to flow
    They long to be touched by the light of day
    But their goals cannot be reached
    For they are trapped inside - unwillingly

    Do not let them be trapped
    Rearrange and change the flow
    Break down the iron gates
    that negativity has built

    Reach out from the depths of obscurity
    Seize the light of day and be warmed!
    For if not...
    The happiness inside
    will be lost forever

    Submitted on 2006-05-16 03:46:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      okay, ths poem was confusing to me. i liked the way it rhymed and stuff, but i didn't know really what it was about. call me blonde, but i didn't know. um, yeah, you write good poetry!
    | Posted on 2007-03-07 00:00:00 | by bubble_popper15 | [ Reply to This ]
      very deep, philosophical stuff! you did a good job of painting a picture that not only shows the tension but makes the reader feel those thoughts trying desperately to escape....awesome!
    | Posted on 2006-05-16 00:00:00 | by scissorhands | [ Reply to This ]
      the inner self can seem so unknown sometimes if we dont vent accordingly. I dont think that there is a set certain amount of venting someone should do, but when it comes to releasing negative thoughts, i think that healthiest way to cope with them is too VENT through creativee outlets such as ELITE SKILLS.
    i enjoyed the rhymes in your poem. Great insight. Most of all though, you worded this very well.
    Keep em coming..

    SIncerely SinCeer
    | Posted on 2006-05-17 00:00:00 | by SinCeer05 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Dream written by closetpoet
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]