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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Memories Lostdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 117
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 795
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 738



    Description:
       Overwhelming need to post SOMETHING!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMemories Lostdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I've forgotten what you taste like,
    I've forgotten the way you feel.
    The memory of your lips is a phantom
    That leaves me wondering if you were real.
    I've forgotten the way your fingertips
    Would cover every inch of my skin.
    The way you trailed your tongue down my neck
    Has eluded me once again.
    I can't remember the way your most intimate parts
    Would feel in the palm of my hand.
    I've forgotten the look of pleasure on your face
    When I would fulfill your every demand.
    I can't remember what it was that you once did
    To bring me to my knees.
    And now I can't help but wonder,
    If you even remember me.




    Submitted on 2006-05-16 08:20:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is such a sad and wonderfully done poem! You have a marvelous understanding of poetry, of what it is and what it is supposed to do. You are a real "natural" with verse (I've also read some of your prose and I can see that you are a born writer, your stuff is highly readable, a nearly lost art) again, a very touching poem... bravo ... bravo ... bravo ... michael
    | Posted on 2007-06-27 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
      hey...right now it seems every F*ucking thing is referring to my life...sadly...this is true to me...but since it's real to me...i can honestly say that the emotion eminates off of it very nicely, good flow too, and i like the lack of vivid imagery...that makes it seem more like all of it is being forgotten...favorites!

    ~chaos~
    | Posted on 2006-09-14 00:00:00 | by whispered_chaos | [ Reply to This ]
      omg that's really good. the rhyming scheme flowed very well. i was able to completly sympathize for the poem. i've written some memory poems and they do hurt, but better to get them out on paper than leave a scar on your body right?
    | Posted on 2006-08-01 00:00:00 | by MizBeeHaveN | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh the memories...shoot em in the face, they only make you sad, this was a lovely poem. u should write them more. with a big ol pen.
    | Posted on 2006-05-16 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      This was good. The flow was off a bit. but the way you detail certain tangiable feels that are no longer registering with your senses was very clever. I liked the rhyme scheme and felt the ending was good. Overall, very good.

    Catrina
    | Posted on 2006-05-16 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]


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