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    dots Submission Name: My Deardots

    Author: Texan_Poet
    ASL Info:    20/F/daydreaming
    Elite Ratio:    5.7 - 127/123/48
    Words: 39
    Class/Type: Poetry/Sorry
    Total Views: 1069
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 260

       dont know where it came from,but i like it!plz,if you dont comment,at least vote on it!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Deardots

    Sorrow for your falling tears,
    Sorrow for a given hurt,
    Sorrow for a cutting word,
    Sorrow for a flat out lie,
    Sorrow for an ungiven rose,

    Above and beond all others here,
    Sorrow for never saying goodbye,my dear

    Submitted on 2006-05-16 10:00:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Some realtionships are not meant to be, yet it's so hard to say good bye. Sorrow for never saying goodbye when you should have said it long before the lies and the hurt. That's what I read in this piece. Also, do I detect a hint of pride? What about that ungiven rose? Why was it never given? And sorrow for never saying goodbye? This whole piece is about goodbye, isn't it?

    The last lines loose the flow, though, I think. Sometimes, although rhyming is nice, it gets in the way of the flow and the rhym takes charge of the poem, instead of the feeling being in charge. Does that make sense? You wrap your feeling around the rhym and loose conection with the feeling.

    Or something like that... I wouldn't worry about rhyming the last two lines but concentrate of sylables and flow. Other than that, I like it. Az
    | Posted on 2006-05-16 00:00:00 | by Azurekat | [ Reply to This ]
      REminds me of a friend. Can I send it to her? I like it. It is simple yet meaningful. Very you.
    | Posted on 2006-05-18 00:00:00 | by orange | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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