Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Very Red and Lovely Flowerdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 201
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 933
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1081



    Description:
       Comment as you wish.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Very Red and Lovely Flowerdots
    -------------------------------------------


    It is important that I do carry on.
    And that I,
    While trying to survive and carry on and blink once in awhile, swim in the dark waters that carry my brothers, that hold each dirty drop of life.
    And I,
    Have found these truths to be false. That when I was swimming I did carry on, without so much as a sniffle.
    And I,
    Only human and ready to claim this at best. Have found some forth communicating consequence to argue with and dable and cotrol the lies that have lunged forth onto the ghettos.
    My life is a waste unless I find something in it that is capable of changing sinificance.
    That is capable of controlling time.
    And that I,
    While trying to contol, while trying to succeed, I find in myself as well as you and others, a kinder gentler truth...that would revolutionize the very fuit of our loins, the birth of a savior, the savior that is not human, nor any attempted religious figure, but simply...
    something that resembles the simplicity of
    a very red and lovely flower.




    Submitted on 2006-05-16 12:46:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hey,,, this is what many people do in life: just carry on, survive, give themselves the rare rest (" blink once in awhile"), and just get lost swimming amongst the masses in horrible conditions that prevail in society today ("hold each dirty drop of life").....But you my dear have discovered ultimate truth, that there has to be more to this life ("My life is a waste unless I find something in it that is capable of changing sinificance"), this is a amazing revelation!!! if spirituality is the beautiful red flower then religion is poisonous water with which we wet the garden. You depicted this really good in your last few lines...

    Keep spreading the love
    Nadia*
    | Posted on 2006-05-28 00:00:00 | by AfricanPrincess | [ Reply to This ]
      Yeah, well...you lost me.

    And though I didn't understand this, it was cool:

    It is important that I do carry on.
    And that I,
    While trying to survive and carry on and blink once in awhile, swim in the dark waters that carry my brothers, that hold each dirty drop of life.
    And I,
    Have found these truths to be false. That when I was swimming I did carry on, without so much as a sniffle.

    A red and lovely flower?

    Did you have some peanut butter?
    | Posted on 2006-05-16 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
      I am very confused by this. You know I am not very poetic and I am horrible when it comes to metaphors and [censored] like that. Did you use those in this poem? I have no clue. I get in my rare moods to where I can actually understand poetry but most of the time I am such a stupid-ass so yeah....do you mind explaining this to me? Maybe afterwards I will understand it.
    | Posted on 2006-05-16 00:00:00 | by bleeding-soul | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this a lot, it's hard to figure out, so I guess that's why I like it. I like things that are mysterious to me, like a puzzle of sorts. I love the ending, a red flower is very beautiful, almost to holy proportions, yet it is so simple. Also I like the fact that you express my opinions almost exactly on the end of the poem, about a savior that is not just a part of any one religion.
    Very nice poem, I'm going to read it a lot probably so I can figure out all of it, so I'm going to add it to my favorites.
    | Posted on 2006-05-17 00:00:00 | by Draigon | [ Reply to This ]
      spiffy im sure, i am trying to accumulate 20 comments to other people because the stupid thing wont let me reply to a private post
    | Posted on 2006-08-30 00:00:00 | by blu_kittin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    103482

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Love written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    an unashamed poverty written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Records I written by Raphael
    Fasade written by jackz
    Carry written by saartha
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Cover written by saartha
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow
    no words for how graceful you are in this moment written by Daniel Barlow
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Yes written by poetotoe
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    You read free written by poetotoe
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry