it's a good piece, but i think cyn is right about the word 'ember' -- u should try to find something else to describe it, maybe 'ashes' or 'coal'? also the phrase 'eternal bliss' seems a bit cliché--try to find a new way to say that. u have talent, so don't be discouraged by the feedback. writing takes time to develop--u wouldn't expect someone to pick up a violin for the 1st time & be able to play mozart. so keep going--your potential is great. :)
Submission Name: a flower's song
