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Author: Rastine Aristat
ASL Info:    19/Male/California
Elite Ratio:    8 - 125 /62 /31
Words: 354
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1117
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 2801



Description:


Ok, this is musings and reflections, on hind sight, I might want to inform you that it is sort of a personal self-evaluation. I can't say it's the best(or the shortest) I've ever done, but it's what I have for you today. As always, be honest before being kind.


Visitors



I had visitors today
Specters; wraiths
That simply should
Never exist
Yet it must be admitted…

A husk of a hollow man
Who I know so well
Resolute in his delusions;
Solitary mourner,
No other may see his pain
For he resides
In a fortress of ice,
Secure in the pain
Of hollow darkness
And an empty heart.
So intent to spread
Embittering tendrils
He’ll never live to see
His own shimmering life.

I had visitors today
Specters; wraiths
That simply should
Never exist
Yet it must be admitted…

A child of insatiable flame
That I’ve always despised
Consuming all life
Eaten from the inside
By wrath and his own,
Incognizant animosity.
Hiding his own flaws
In heaven’s holy pyre
Forever taking refuge
In the death of God
Purifying his neighbor
With sadistic fervor
Yet never turning
The spiteful eye
To his own wrathful apathy.

I had visitors today
Specters; wraiths
That simply should
Never exist
Yet it must be admitted…

A nonexistent shade,
Truest of abominations
Never will I forget,
Your hollow remorse
Crystalline tears
Shed in hopes
Of illusory redemption
Evanescent joviality
Shifting through the crowds
Unnoticed, even to your own mind
Incognito, anonymity,
Never realized,
All your scheming
Shall be for naught,
His intangibility
Forcing him to be
Something less than a dream.

I had visitors today
Specters; wraiths
That simply should
Never exist
Yet it must be admitted…

A shining ray of life,
Offering feeling to replace
A necrotic heart,
Numbed with atrophy.
A radiant nurturer
To sooth the blaze,
Ease the pain
Of insentient fury.
A vast sanctum
Giving freely
A body to be noticed,
Freedom of form
To that which doesn’t exist.

I had visitors today
Specters; wraiths
That simply should
Never exist
Yet it must be admitted…

Gloom haunts the sanctum
Despair rules its halls,
For the shadow has
opened its doors
To a necrotic heart,
And wrathful apathy.
The light shines through,
Reflected, twisted,
Deformed by infinite facets
Of a cadaver’s arctic soul.
The soothing radiance
Fed to crimson-gold rage
Of insatiable flames.




Submitted on 2006-05-16 18:09:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  I must agree with the comment below in one aspect, he did in fact, miss the point. I think this piece can not be fully comprended by those who are entirely unfamiliar with it's author. Now on to answering the questions provided....

This piece made me feel lonely, that was the main emotion I got from this, though anger was a close second. I believe the main thing that made me feel this way was the constant reference to wraiths and one man being unseen or unnoticed.

I'd have to say that the repeated verse distracted from this piece a little, after reading it through a couple times I skimmed over the other ones.

There are a few grammatical "errors" that I might suggest correcting but I really can't do that until we are together and can talk it over.

I feel this piece is very original and intelligent, I also like that you are introspective here. Very nice work as always ^_^

~Nicole
| Posted on 2006-05-17 00:00:00 | by RadiantSeraph | [ Reply to This ]
  I don't know about this one. I think all the larger words slows the read and hinders the message not that you should have to dumb down the message for anyone but other than to point out various personalites I don't see much point to the piece; it seem to drag will vague descriptions and no real spunk or life too it. It seems rather cold and analytical. At the end I wondered if you were hinting at various personatlites you saw emrge from a body being cremeated this is the only mental picture i derived from the last stanza. I just don't see much point in this other then to write for writings sake. I also found wrathful apathy to be an odd combination since wrath is vengence and apathy carelessness I guess they could make sense together but it's a stretch. I didn't particularly enjoy this one, but i fear i missed the point. peace
| Posted on 2006-05-16 00:00:00 | by shaman | [ Reply to This ]
  Bravo! I enjoyed this one! It was as if the reader was at a funeral listening to the departed narrorate his funeral and all the parts of him that remain behind maybe like ghost or memories paid him a visit. I don't think it was a literal death, but a emotional one. In each case there was a reason why each part of him failed the departed on a whole. I loved the big words! I knew a few of them off hand. This was as if an explaination as to why you feel dead to the world. Tell me if I am remotely close to the meaning of this poem. You did a great job writing this. This is a fav of mine.

Catrina
| Posted on 2006-05-17 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]


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