[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: I'm fallingdots

    Author: soaring eyes
    ASL Info:    17/f/ga
    Elite Ratio:    2.47 - 18/30/19
    Words: 137
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 913
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 785


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI'm fallingdots

    I'm tired and weary I can't go on
    I see myself laying down
    In the grass maybe by a pond.
    Body is getting heavy
    hands are becoming wet
    I just put my life on the line for a stupid little bet.
    Be strong for me for this is not a show
    I would tell you what happened but you wouldn't want to know.
    My hand is loosening from you.
    My life is sitting in your hands
    Please don't let me go
    your suppose to be a man
    I'm looking down
    I can tell your getting tired
    so just let me go
    If you never tell anyone
    no one will ever know
    I'll push away and I promise not to cry
    Just don't look or stare into my eyes
    I'm falling

    Submitted on 2006-05-17 09:33:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i liked this one. like if i try to put this poem into a situation i kinda see him holding u over a ledge and u not wanting to be pulled up. but maybe u do and everything ur telling him is just to inspire a guilt trip. it was good either way
    | Posted on 2006-05-22 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]
      This was cool, I liked it. There's only a few typos; you should probably read through and fix them. Other then that, I really liked this line

    "your suppose to be a man"

    It goes back to stereotypical society, how a man should act and be.

    This was cool,
    Nice job

    | Posted on 2006-05-17 00:00:00 | by Glassy Eyed | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]