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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: This Ghostdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: darkness child
    ASL Info:    21/F/Michigan
    Elite Ratio:    3.07 - 195/266/48
    Words: 95
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1337
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 579



    Description:
       I don't really know the meaning of this. It has many meanings. I wrote this in school in about 10 minutes, so don't think it's my best.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThis Ghostdots
    -------------------------------------------


    My Soul is crawling out of my body,
    Unable to endure the Sorrow inside.
    I'm trying so hard not to Scream,
    Wishing in vain for the courage to Die.

    I am Hollow and it's Hurting,
    Gasping, Crying, I can't seem to Breathe.
    I am Hating and they're Burning,
    I love the fact that you're all that I see.

    This life is a Chaotic blur,
    Each day of existing is Torn from the last.
    Please, take me away from this World,
    I can't bear to live with the Ghosts of my past.




    Submitted on 2006-05-17 12:11:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I liked the introduction paragraph and the conclusion but the central one wasn't too good. But keeping in mind the fact that you wrote this in 10 minutes, Good-o. I can't seem to think of any way to change this one,

    Abbas
    | Posted on 2006-05-19 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ]
      "This life is a Chaotic blur,
    Each day of existing is Torn from the last.
    Please, take me away from this World,
    I can't bear to live with the Ghosts of my past."


    those lines are so beautiful. There as haunting as the ghosts you speak of.

    i cant imagine how you could possibly make this poem any better than it already is.

    Very well done and thank you for shareing

    AL


    | Posted on 2006-05-17 00:00:00 | by Amanda Lynn | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't know either but it sounds good to me... ^_^ I think my favorite lines are

    "I am Hating and they're Burning,
    I love the fact that you're all that I see."

    For me, this describes so many aspects of my life in my past (and hopefully they stay in the past). There's a lot of darkness and desperation in this poem, which a lot of people might say is overly melodramatic, but really everyone feels these emotions, wheither they're willing to admit it or not. As always, I love you're style of writing and look forward to seeing any new poems you submit. ~Obsidian Embers
    | Posted on 2006-07-03 00:00:00 | by Obsidian Embers | [ Reply to This ]


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    103638

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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