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    dots Submission Name: fire flydots

    Author: shootingstar
    ASL Info:    22/f/hell
    Elite Ratio:    3.15 - 102/120/21
    Words: 73
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 2249
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 500

       this is as close to a love poem as i have gotten this far. love sux.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsfire flydots

    Sweet fire fly,
    Lost in your eyes,
    Glowing with hope,in the dying sun rays.

    Silver cloud, lined with black,
    For all the pain we can't take back.
    Lying naked inside your cell.

    Regret is lost to wandering ears,
    And broken bones these past 2 years.
    Swallow summer sun by the gallon.

    In the dirt, our sweat remains,
    Through violent spring and acid rain.
    History repeats an old song.

    Submitted on 2004-05-11 07:42:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Wow, this is a wonderful piece. How did I miss out on this one for so long. Another mind stir-very thought provoking. I love symbols/metaphors. The symbols in this are awesome. Maybe you could add more, but I love it as is.
    | Posted on 2004-05-21 00:00:00 | by nicelyJ | [ Reply to This ]
      This is flowing, through beauty, degradation, disgust. I love the hope it begins with. It almost drifts. Very beautiful, well written.
    | Posted on 2004-05-18 00:00:00 | by Wonder Passing | [ Reply to This ]
      cute! lol acouple submissions ago someone wrote a rhyme about a firefly... that is one word, by the way... it was good, lol it's on the road to being a love poem but doesn't quite make it, ah well that's fine no one ever saidpoetry had to be about love. ~CJ
    | Posted on 2004-05-11 00:00:00 | by Cora Windover | [ Reply to This ]
      Silver cloud, lined with black,
    thats a really good little pooem, reminds me of something but i can't quite grasp it yet. Great write, thanks for shairng
    | Posted on 2004-05-11 00:00:00 | by PryncessVynom | [ Reply to This ]
      I feel as though this could be a lot more heartfelt in terms of the language used but its still a nice message. The last stanza says to me 'we've died but I still love you,'
    'history repeats an old song' is a great line.
    | Posted on 2004-05-11 00:00:00 | by JimweiZERO | [ Reply to This ]

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