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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Golf Prosedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: wewak11
    Elite Ratio:    3.8 - 3436/3630/329
    Words: 213
    Class/Type: Poetry/Comedy
    Total Views: 1427
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1355



    Description:
       Golf hates me...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGolf Prosedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Choosing to be great at golf, I bought a golfing book,
    Bashing balls for megabucks without a slice or hook?
    Balance, grip and leave the wife was Faldo's claim to fame,
    Golf clubs branded: "Great White Shark" would guarantee my game.

    Bought some DVD's and copied Gary Player's stance,
    Tiger taught me how to wield a three wood like a lance;
    Johnny Daly's trap shot tricks were magic in the sand,
    Days went by - my U.S. Open rookie tour was planned.

    Shoes by V.J. Singh and cap as worn by Arnold P.
    Putter nine feet long and autographed "Trevino, Lee"
    Balls designed by laser beams ingrained with extra spin,
    Grabbing all my brand new gear, I headed off to win.

    "Rookie gets a wild card" was the headline of the day,
    Clad in purple plus-fours, striding to the first to play;
    Teeing up, I swear I saw a golden bear walk by,
    Swung my club, the crowd all gasped, then gave a sorry sigh.

    Later on, I sat in silence, getting drunk on wine,
    Broke the old course record of eight hundred ninety-nine;
    Paparazzi chased me and the phone rang off the wall,
    Same old question: "Tell us if you ever hit the ball!"







    Submitted on 2006-05-17 18:54:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Hee hee! I can certainly appreciate this one. I used to play golf and I know just how hard it is. The rule is if you got tons a free time to play, you might just improve but if you can only get out there once a week, you will surely hack up the course haha! I found that I craved it for a while, the perfectionist in me made me do it, and I really strived to improve, and I did. But, take a couple weeks off and go out there and all you'll find is aggravation! But then other days I would go and really play well so I felt inspired to do it again only to turn around and suck it up in serious fashion. I decided to give it up after 4 years of playing. I just didnt have enough time to really improve and it pissed me off haha! But I still enjoy watching the pros play, they are like golf gods hee hee! And, I do still miss it sometimes too. Perhaps some day when I retire...Anyway, enough of my babble. I enjoyed this poem. Very funny stuff and well written. My only disagreement here is that after some rounds of golf, the beverage really needed to be much stronger than wine!! HA! Thanks for the smiles. Take care.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2006-05-23 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      Ooo golf. It sure is a lot harder than it looks.
    I've only played minature golf... and I'm not good at that, so I figured it'd be best if I stayed away from regular golf. You know?

    lol Anyway...
    I think the end is my favorite part:

    Later on, I sat in silence, getting drunk on wine,
    Broke the old course record of eight hundred ninety-nine;
    Paparazzi chased me and the phone rang off the wall,
    Same old question: "Tell us if you ever hit the ball!"

    lol How awesome is that? You are too funny.

    Good stuff you got there.

    You're stream of talent just never stops flowing

    As always,
    Wonderfully done

    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2006-05-21 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      This was hilarious. I laughed my ass off. I'm not that bad at golf, but I'm not good either. The rhyming was good and the flow was smooth. I remember one time I was smoking weed on a golf course and this dude was coming up and I hid the joint. I let him go ahead of me and when he left he said, "Light it up, you ain't hurting nobody." That freaked me out. It was awesome. Everybody smokes!
    | Posted on 2006-05-19 00:00:00 | by dude90998 | [ Reply to This ]
      This was hilarious. I laughed my ass off. I'm not that bad at golf, but I'm not good either. The rhyming was good and the flow was smooth. I remember one time I was smoking weed on a golf course and this dude was coming up and I hid the joint. I let him go ahead of me and when he left he said, "Light it up, you ain't hurting nobody." That freaked me out. It was awesome. Everybody smokes!
    | Posted on 2006-05-19 00:00:00 | by dude90998 | [ Reply to This ]
      very amusing and golf is harder than it looks! my dad worked at a country club for a good many years and he loved to golf, but I could never quite get the hang of it. of course, I didn't try real hard either! but this is a wonderful spoof on those guys who get all dressed up and can't get their balls to go anywhere (pun intended)!
    | Posted on 2006-05-17 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]
      I have never hit the ball! I hate golf. I watched a man get struck by lightning on a golf course, and knew the game wasn't for me. lol

    This was really enjoyable! I notcied you use Lee Travino twice, but withthe limited number of brand names it's all good.

    I'm not sure who the pervert was that thought up golf, but anyone that thinks a man should hold his club, swing it all over the place, and try to put his balls in little holes eighteen times is insane in my book. (A man's ball doen't go in the hole...ask anyone!)

    Thanks for the giggle, I need to go collect rent from the gutterfolks... hahahaha

    Take Care!

    Chell
    | Posted on 2006-05-17 00:00:00 | by Chell | [ Reply to This ]


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