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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Like Strangers Touchingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 49
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1538
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 332



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLike Strangers Touchingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    My eyelids met like complete strangers,
    but once they touched,
    they were as inseparable as honeymooners
    at an especially cold and dull destination,
    but as the sun's blades pried them apart
    they vowed to meet again
    like old friends who drink
    at the same bar every night.




    Submitted on 2006-05-17 20:43:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      great description of going to sleep and then waking up to a new day...the sun pries them apart...they meet like strangers. ..love at first sight...stay together for a night and then wake up in the morning thinking about the next interlude..

    like someone who loves one night stands...lol

    but yes...can be read a few different ways...but very clever use of words here as with all of yours i read so far...

    will be back

    yours is some of my favorite work i have read here so far.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-04-24 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      its not my favorite way of writing.
    but i enjoyed reading it.
    and the concepts you revealed.
    :]

    i have to admit that the title was my favorite part.

    :]
    | Posted on 2008-02-29 00:00:00 | by shawnaSUNSHINE | [ Reply to This ]
      You are right to like this work of yours. I like it tremendously as well (as I did the ones I read, haha). Again you astound me with your unconventional ideas, strange and new portrayals of every day things, and I must say you have surpassed yourself again with this work.
    Enjoyable and my favourite lines are:
    at an especially cold and dull destination
    but as the sun's blades pried them apart

    Cheers
    Azuire
    | Posted on 2007-02-03 00:00:00 | by Azuire | [ Reply to This ]
      love @ first sight. Happends rarely. Thats a cool way 2 put it I like it. Is this someone elses story or did this happen 2 you? Alright good job.

    Joshua
    | Posted on 2006-12-22 00:00:00 | by ooononotthatguy | [ Reply to This ]
      Amy this is so wonderful. I love your writing. In this yu tookl something as normal as closing and opening your eyes and made it into a journey of delight. I just love it and theres nought else to say on the matter.

    Kate
    xxxx
    | Posted on 2006-05-23 00:00:00 | by elephantasia | [ Reply to This ]
      this is so clever, Amy! not surprising though, coming from you. your writing is so unique and always interesting. you take something as simple as opening and closing your eyes and create a cool poem like this! you are a master at this type of thing, you know?

    much love,
    ~Cat
    | Posted on 2006-05-23 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi Amy,

    My first reaction was laughter and that is because your images are so bright and innovative.


    my eyelids met like complete strangers
    but once they touched
    they were as inseparable as honeymooners
    at an especially cold and dull destination

    I think especially adds to the boredom you're seeking in a way, I like it here..

    but as the sun's blades pried them apart (sun's blades is great)
    they vowed to meet again
    like old friends who drink
    at the same bar every night

    I can't see a thing I would change, though I considered "at an" but it seems to fit with the line you've written. Great job,
    thanks for sharing!

    Love,

    Nan



    | Posted on 2006-05-21 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this. It's funny, whenever I think of two things totally opposite from one another I always think of you because you bring opposite things to life. Like this for instance. You compare eyelids to strangers. Intriguing. You are the only one I know that can do this so well. :) I love it.
    I also like the whole sun and old friends comparison. I'm glad to see you are still writing. I hope all is well hun. Hugs and love to my sis! Great piece. :)

    Bethany Ann <3
    | Posted on 2006-05-20 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      Very original indeed. To analyze the closing of the eyes, and emphasize how you clearly enjoy it. I love the comparisons and the imagery. It all makes perfect sense.
    | Posted on 2006-08-24 00:00:00 | by freshcookies | [ Reply to This ]
      I've been away from the site and away from your page for much too long Amy! Stopping by reminded me of why I love reading your work, it's short and simple (on the surface) but filled with clever images.
    I think your describing my eyes here so I;m going to keep it short, but I really have nothing critical to add other than, "I wish I'd thought of that!"

    jan ;)
    | Posted on 2006-06-05 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      This one is simplle,short and sweet, I really enjoyed reading the whole piece and you did a great job desribing your feelings on this just a simple everyday task of your eyes closing and meeting together. truely a unique write.


    Ladymustang
    | Posted on 2006-06-10 00:00:00 | by LadyMustang | [ Reply to This ]
      Love the analogy here Amy. Eyelids like strangers...blades of light. Nice.

    I was just thinking of a book of Simic's prose poems i recently read...i think you'd enjoy it.

    Furthermore, i think you could write a collection of short 'prose' poems like it.

    I know i would buy it.

    Wonderful poem.

    later,
    kc
    | Posted on 2006-06-06 00:00:00 | by twacky | [ Reply to This ]
      I read this last Friday before I left work with no time to comment, but I wanted to let you know that I thought of it all weekend. I loved it, and it inspired me to think of the little things... of the relationship everything forms. When I laid by the pool and the "sun's blades" forced my lashes to meet (squinting from that sun), I thought of your poem. I thought of my eyelids' pleasant surprise at meeting during the day instead of waiting til sleep came. Awesome. It stuck with me; thank you.
    | Posted on 2006-06-07 00:00:00 | by parabola | [ Reply to This ]
      thats a really sweet way of looking at it. i really enjoy poetry like this....a simple, everyday thing put into perspective. this it'll definitely make me think while im dozing off to sleep.
    i dont really have any favorite lines because i liked the whole thing...it flowed very nicely. but i will say that the last two lines were indeed the cherry on top. muy bien!
    take care
    birdy
    | Posted on 2006-05-17 00:00:00 | by birdy5005 | [ Reply to This ]


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