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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Johnny's a Dull Boydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Draigon
    ASL Info:    25/m/Al
    Elite Ratio:    4.25 - 164/196/91
    Words: 268
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 823
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1527



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsJohnny's a Dull Boydots
    -------------------------------------------


    He just sits there, thinking, pondering to himself and not paying anything else any mind. He dreams about all the fun times he had with his brother, but that was all so long ago. Now, pretty much everything that courses through his veins, is a flood of hatred and despair. The hatred is because of all circumstances that his family has went through and God didn't help, or so it seemed.
    The despair is caused in part by that he can not do anything to help his family, and he punishes himself everyday for this weakness.
    Murder seems so alluring to him. Blood would quinch his thrist, the hunger to numb his pain.

    This dreamworld though, is still new to him.
    Only having visited it a couple of times in the past, he only vaguely remembers the wonders of this colorful plain. The air hangs above with the sweet smell of rain intermingled with wild flowers that were just starting to blossom. The trees were all sorts of colors and shapes. The water was a deep purple with rose petals floating upon its surface. Rainbows decorate the sky. Birds fly over, singing their melodic songs.
    Then as soon as Johnny entered the world, he was thrown out. Thrown out upon the curb, that his family calls home.

    Johnny is astounded by this new, and wonderful enviroment. He wishes to live there, but he doesn't know if this feat can be performed. He sits and thinks a moment. Then his eyes pop open in exclaimation. Slowly he walks toward his mom's medicine cabinet.




    Submitted on 2006-05-18 12:37:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is very good
    I enjoyed reading this
    You captured the emotion of someone who realizes he has hurt people in the past and truefully wants to make up for it but is getting the door slammed in his face every time by those that dont believe him
    The only yhing I would have done different and I stress this is just my opinion Is not introduce the medicine cabinet to the write yet
    I would have included that in a later chapter
    Excellent write though
    This write spoke great truth
    God Bless
    Ron

    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-05-18 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      you know i was kinda lost going into this story, but the ending really cleared things up. seriously this was a wonderful piece. all of the detail just added more interest to it. i thought he was seriously dreaming, but then the ending... i still can't get over it. it was awesome. i loved how it was about drugs instead of an actual fantasy. really really good.
    | Posted on 2006-05-18 00:00:00 | by puddinrckr | [ Reply to This ]
      This was just....wow! I really liked this. I enjoyed the last line. I seen that coming. But who wouldn't? You described the dreamworld so greatly. You used very good detail and it describes the whole "drug" theme. At a time....I would have been able to relate to this very greatly (except the brother part). Well...in a way...I still can relate because I can remember when I used to have so much drama that I used drugs to escape it for a while. I'm so glad that I've skipped over that milestone. I will never do that again! But yes...this is going on my favorites list.
    | Posted on 2006-05-18 00:00:00 | by bleeding-soul | [ Reply to This ]
      oh martin, i am sensing that these are very personal thoughts....and they sound sad...and I hope you are well...and i really liked them.
    | Posted on 2006-06-09 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]


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