[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: The Silver Sundots

    Author: zhi wei
    ASL Info:    17, Male, Malaysia.
    Elite Ratio:    6.14 - 171/203/53
    Words: 132
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 811
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 919

       I love the night.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Silver Sundots

    The silver sun
    sits amongst the stars tonight;
    a mirror of the daylight’s eye,
    that sends these eyes astray,
    far away,
    from the panes they travel through.

    But they are not thoughts of science;
    for science,
    like the golden drapes of day
    reveal only that which is known,
    and there is little wonder in knowledge.
    Yet so much more
    in the uncertainty of the unfamiliar.

    As I prolong my gaze
    at the sky’s glimmering grey light
    I smile at its perfection;
    its full circle, so continuous;
    a ring which weds me,
    in wonder, to the night.

    For tomorrow,
    I shall breathe
    and know nothing.

    For tonight,
    I shall let that breath be stolen
    even for a second,
    beneath the silver sun
    where life and beauty became one.

    Submitted on 2006-05-19 06:16:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      "But they are not thoughts of science;
    for science,
    like the golden drapes of day
    reveal only that which is known,
    and there is little wonder in knowledge.
    Yet so much more
    in the uncertainty of the unfamiliar."

    This is a beautiful line. I like your stance one day and light and the correlation between light and science. As light shines down revealing the msytery of midnight, so does science. Hmmm . . . For me, I've always loved the nights- it is indeed a mystery. Last night, we had our windows open in our bedrooms and I could hear everything, smell the freshness of the green fields. Even though the road crews were out fixing the roads, it didn't interrupt me in listening to the wind blow, the trees and plants sway or the night birds sing. It was enjoyable.

    You have a wonderful talent w/ words, I remember reading other poems by you and I enjoyed it immensely. This was a great one.
    good job.
    -stacey M.-
    | Posted on 2006-05-19 00:00:00 | by idlewriter | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very lovely piece of work you've written, well done. First of all, like probably others will say, rhyming and all that, well ya know what? Screw it. The way you wrote this there is absolutely no reason to go in and change it to make things rhyme. This is good all its own. Now, I'd like to state the obvious, you're talking about the moon.

    I have my own feelings for the moon, but you just seemed to sum them all up into this wonderful work that you've done. It expresses what I wished to when seeing that lovely figure up in the night sky. So, 1) you have my congrads on this lovely work and 2) you have my thanks for writing it, seeing as though it is a topic we both can share and write upon. Very well done, my friend.

    | Posted on 2006-05-19 00:00:00 | by Noreu Hotishima | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Summer written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    You do, I Do written by poetotoe
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Push written by JanePlane
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Bond written by saartha
    written by Daniel Barlow
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    AI written by poetotoe
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]