[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: The Silver Sundots

    Author: zhi wei
    ASL Info:    17, Male, Malaysia.
    Elite Ratio:    6.14 - 171/203/53
    Words: 132
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 773
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 919

       I love the night.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Silver Sundots

    The silver sun
    sits amongst the stars tonight;
    a mirror of the daylight’s eye,
    that sends these eyes astray,
    far away,
    from the panes they travel through.

    But they are not thoughts of science;
    for science,
    like the golden drapes of day
    reveal only that which is known,
    and there is little wonder in knowledge.
    Yet so much more
    in the uncertainty of the unfamiliar.

    As I prolong my gaze
    at the sky’s glimmering grey light
    I smile at its perfection;
    its full circle, so continuous;
    a ring which weds me,
    in wonder, to the night.

    For tomorrow,
    I shall breathe
    and know nothing.

    For tonight,
    I shall let that breath be stolen
    even for a second,
    beneath the silver sun
    where life and beauty became one.

    Submitted on 2006-05-19 06:16:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      "But they are not thoughts of science;
    for science,
    like the golden drapes of day
    reveal only that which is known,
    and there is little wonder in knowledge.
    Yet so much more
    in the uncertainty of the unfamiliar."

    This is a beautiful line. I like your stance one day and light and the correlation between light and science. As light shines down revealing the msytery of midnight, so does science. Hmmm . . . For me, I've always loved the nights- it is indeed a mystery. Last night, we had our windows open in our bedrooms and I could hear everything, smell the freshness of the green fields. Even though the road crews were out fixing the roads, it didn't interrupt me in listening to the wind blow, the trees and plants sway or the night birds sing. It was enjoyable.

    You have a wonderful talent w/ words, I remember reading other poems by you and I enjoyed it immensely. This was a great one.
    good job.
    -stacey M.-
    | Posted on 2006-05-19 00:00:00 | by idlewriter | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very lovely piece of work you've written, well done. First of all, like probably others will say, rhyming and all that, well ya know what? Screw it. The way you wrote this there is absolutely no reason to go in and change it to make things rhyme. This is good all its own. Now, I'd like to state the obvious, you're talking about the moon.

    I have my own feelings for the moon, but you just seemed to sum them all up into this wonderful work that you've done. It expresses what I wished to when seeing that lovely figure up in the night sky. So, 1) you have my congrads on this lovely work and 2) you have my thanks for writing it, seeing as though it is a topic we both can share and write upon. Very well done, my friend.

    | Posted on 2006-05-19 00:00:00 | by Noreu Hotishima | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Carry written by saartha
    Love written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Records I written by Raphael
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]