Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Rain On Medots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Magnolia Steele
    ASL Info:    30/female/Northwest CA
    Elite Ratio:    4.71 - 2492/1825/232
    Words: 53
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 968
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 411



    Description:
       A poem I wrote years back and completely revamped just now. I hated the original poem it seems...it was just not good enough anymore. So I keep the title, and the theme and spiced it up from it's plain and predictable form. I tried out this new format thingy, I hope it worked. Enjoy.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRain On Medots
    -------------------------------------------


    You...

    Sugar
    laced
    droplets
    that
    fall
    on the tip of
    my tongue
    refreshing
    my famished soul
    percolating
    my palate
    to the sweet
    taste of love...

    I can never get enough of you.








    Submitted on 2006-05-19 11:01:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      wow. wasn't expecting anything like this from the title. i was expecting something sad. this was good though. that last line really wrapped it up well cuz i am pretty addictive. and i used to drink sugar water as a kid.
    | Posted on 2006-05-29 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really good. Even though its only a few lines short, each word seems to have been carefully thought out and chosen to perfectly describe everything. I really like the you part at the beginning and the end line. That i think really made the poem hell of a lot more powerful, nice write. I love the way you describe love as rain and the drops and suger laced, that seems to have a meaning hidden behind it and i really enyoy that. Hell of a nice write.

    peace
    | Posted on 2006-05-20 00:00:00 | by Faith_Disease | [ Reply to This ]
      aww this is one sweet poem. short and sweet too. it gives me some glimps of hope to love again. i am still hurting and this poem makes me feel that i can one day love again. nice work.

    love suzi
    | Posted on 2006-05-20 00:00:00 | by sushi wok | [ Reply to This ]
      this is yummy Trina! i like the way you've bookended your italic words. i have a few suggestions, if i may...? here's how i might set it up:

    Sugar-laced
    droplets
    that
    fall
    on the tip
    of my tongue
    refreshing
    my famished soul
    percolating (you have a "u" instead of an "o")
    my palate
    to the sweet
    taste of love...

    always just suggestions, 'cause you know i love your stuff, girl!!

    love,
    ~Cat
    | Posted on 2006-05-19 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      How beautiful, and very poetic. I like how you sandwich the middle inbetween italic start and finish. Nice touch. I agree, the title fits this piece quite well.

    Ah, "sugar laced droplets.. perculating my palate to the sweet taste of love. "- That's what this poem does to me

    Very good work here!!
    | Posted on 2006-05-19 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      I couldn't agree more with what Jason said. The title and poem are like a puzzle, and in this case, they both fit in perfectly. I liked your clear word choice, as it helped create vivid imagery. Please pray that the expected drought doesn't hit here

    Abbas
    | Posted on 2006-05-19 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ]
      this poem was almost perfect. It's composition, while simple, spoke from the heart to the heart of the reader. Th imagery you used was brilliant, almost allowing the reader to feel the purity of the love held for the subject by the writer. I like who you kept the piece short and sweet, allowing it to become simple yet beautiful. Very nice job!!!

    Meow!!!
    | Posted on 2006-05-19 00:00:00 | by lynxstarfire | [ Reply to This ]
      Italics... nice touch Maggie, made those lines read real subtle like. I like this piece.
    And I really thought the title went real well with the write. Nice use of imagery too.

    Keep up the good work
    Thanks so much for sharing this

    Take care
    Later

    Jason
    | Posted on 2006-05-19 00:00:00 | by Departed One | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    103948

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Carry written by saartha
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Records I written by Raphael
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Love written by saartha
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Relativity written by poetotoe

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry