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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I Don't Care...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Acid
    ASL Info:    17/M/Newport, WA
    Elite Ratio:    2.85 - 103/159/76
    Words: 133
    Class/Type: Poetry/Satire
    Total Views: 1172
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 994



    Description:
       It's basically a late night rant to a poetic rythum. Hope you enjoy it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Don't Care...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Dieing echos, haunting dreams,
    Ripping, rending, tearing seems,
    Folding in upon it's own,
    Like all that's black, it's all alone.

    "I don't feel, so I don't care."

    Driven mad, by waking dead,
    Festering fears, and fallen tears,
    Beholder's eye, how it leers,
    In these halls of grey.

    "I don't feel, so I don't care."

    We watch the colors fade,
    As peices fall, from plans well played,
    Deep within decay,
    So lost you found your way,
    Which leaves my head full of dread.

    "I don't feel, so I don't care."

    Above the crashing sound,
    That dances all around,
    All that I can hear,
    Is a mantra of pure fear.

    "I don't feel, so I don't care."

    They all cry aloud,
    In the heart of maddening crowd.




    Submitted on 2006-05-19 15:37:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      I read this the other day when you showed it to me. I really like it. It really shows an inner side of you I dont see. I think your darkness is hidden pretty deep from me.
    | Posted on 2006-10-25 00:00:00 | by ScarletStitches | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this.

    "Folding in upon it's own,
    Like all that's black, it's all alone."

    Those lines stood out to me in a good way.


    "We watch the colors fade,
    As peices fall, from plans well played,"

    I think that was my favorite part.

    Overall, I loved the whole thing.


    ~Samm
    | Posted on 2006-10-22 00:00:00 | by LoveToHateMe | [ Reply to This ]
      i like it...nice rhyming...
    | Posted on 2006-10-10 00:00:00 | by Ani | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this poem...it rhymed very well, but I found a typo as well. In the last line....shouldn't it be "a maddening crowd"? Personally that sounds better.
    This was well written tho....

    By the way, thanks for the comment on my poem. I will look at more of yours as well.
    Keep Writing.

    ~Strator
    | Posted on 2006-09-28 00:00:00 | by Strator | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmmm, this was an intrigueing piece of work, I must say. It was well written from over all view. I liked it, because it was dark, because it reached out and showed me how I, how we all, feel sometimes.. The only thing I can say that would make this better, would be more discribtion of the soundings, good job though.

    From the Darkest Reflection,
    >Shadow_Mirror<
    | Posted on 2006-09-23 00:00:00 | by Shadow_Mirror | [ Reply to This ]
      NICE piece
    i like it...
    it's quite... tortured
    my first impression...
    hm. "in these halls of grey" reminds me of an insane asylum... but it's like an inner battle

    it made me think.

    -Linds
    | Posted on 2006-05-28 00:00:00 | by LindsUncensored | [ Reply to This ]
      So yeah, I already told you what I thought about this piece, but it's just so god damn good:) I really love it, it went in my faves. Nice job,


    Lia
    | Posted on 2006-05-22 00:00:00 | by Glassy Eyed | [ Reply to This ]
      its good for what it is..
    in a world full of anger we should embrace the okness of some days rather than press too hard on the wrongness of life.
    im sorry i cant give a better comment, it deserves better but im too surrounded by negativity and it makes me want to read more about happiness. selfish i know, and im sorry.
    | Posted on 2006-09-01 00:00:00 | by EEKS | [ Reply to This ]


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    103995

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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