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Again


Author: mimi
ASL Info:    30/f/ny
Elite Ratio:    3.66 - 597 /390 /111
Words: 61
Class/Type: Poetry /Passion
Total Views: 1064
Average Vote:    4.5000
Bytes: 374



Description:




Again



Waiting for the pleasures
to subside,
so I can hide
the feelings
and drown in the tremors
that lingers
as I float back
to discover your fingers
are tangled in my hair
And the air is
scented with you
and me.
I smile and purr
as you start the
dance all over again




Submitted on 2006-05-19 16:39:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  I really liked this write. There really isn't anything I would change other than whats in the brackets

Waiting for the pleasures to
subside,
so I can hide
the feelings
and drown in the tremors
that lingers.
[as] I float back
to discover your fingers
are tangled in my hair.
And the air is
scented with you
and me.
I smile and purr
as you start the
dance all over again

There is a fullstop before it yet you have the word in common letters.
Other than that this was an enjoyable read.

Keep up the good work
and take care

Later
Jason
| Posted on 2006-05-21 00:00:00 | by Departed One | [ Reply to This ]
  simple, short, sensual and sweet. I like it, it reminds me there are still people that can share such thing left on this planet. Congrats and keep up the good work. peace-
| Posted on 2006-05-19 00:00:00 | by night_angel | [ Reply to This ]
  i love this. its very emotional and like mmiss said very sensual, it nice short and to the point good job.
| Posted on 2006-05-19 00:00:00 | by ira | [ Reply to This ]
  i love this. its very emotional and like mmiss said very sensual, it nice short and to the point good job.
| Posted on 2006-05-19 00:00:00 | by ira | [ Reply to This ]
  oh wow how revealing this is. very sensual that dance is! its a clever piece of work Mimi. great work here.
GBY!
| Posted on 2006-05-19 00:00:00 | by MMISS | [ Reply to This ]
  Mimi,

This is lovely! Well-written, subtly erotic, and very sensual. I like your use of enjambment and thought the rhythm worked for the piece.

I was just playing around with the random author feature and stumbled onto this nice little vignette. I'll have to stop by again and see what else you have to offer. ;)

Cheers,

drowning_queen
| Posted on 2006-05-25 00:00:00 | by drowning_queen | [ Reply to This ]
  The powerful pinnacle of physical,
The multiple mystical strain.
A delight to excite,
Onlyl half get it right.
If you can't remember your name.
This is a riddle I wrote back in the day.
Your poem brought it to mind. And had me
wishing I were a fly on the wall. I like it alot!
Your poem is soft, sensual and paints a picture of two people in the tagled sheets. Like a scene
from a movie. Very nice work. Keep'em comming. The Poor Man's Poet.
| Posted on 2006-05-20 00:00:00 | by Bobby K | [ Reply to This ]
  Don't see anything here to correct. This flows along smoothly in a graceful sensual rythmn. Congrats on a wonderful write.
| Posted on 2006-07-07 00:00:00 | by junemarie | [ Reply to This ]


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