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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: ugly words for an ugly girldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: beth freese
    ASL Info:    18.F.Earth
    Elite Ratio:    3.5 - 74/113/39
    Words: 84
    Class/Type: Poetry/Being a Teen
    Total Views: 901
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 540



    Description:
       my mom always tells me i look like crap.that's about it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsugly words for an ugly girldots
    -------------------------------------------


    Like a chisel tearing at my body,
    your words are wearing on my mind,
    pinching each bubble of self esteem til
    POP! GONE.

    seventeen years of popping
    never ending, never stopping
    just enough bubbles to not have a "problem",
    here's the problem no one thinks of

    i hate how i look
    and you don't know it
    I try to tell you, a little bit
    but now you're angry, steaming mad,
    and i still don't look like an Old Navy ad.




    Submitted on 2006-05-19 18:13:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Like a chisel tearing at my body,
    your words are wearing on my mind,
    pinching each bubble of self esteem til
    POP! GONE.

    seventeen years of popping
    never ending, never stopping
    just enough bubbles to not have a "problem",
    here's the problem no one thinks of

    i hate how i look
    and you don't know it
    I try to tell you, a little bit
    but now you're angry, steaming mad,
    and i still don't look like an Old Navy ad.



    Well, this definitely sounds like one big unhappy family full of underlying rage misdirected at a sensitive young adult. Now that I've gotten the psychoanalysis out of the way, I'll first commend you for not writng an angsty tome as thick as a Chicago phone book full of 'boo-hoos' and 'why me?'. This is a stripped down, straightforward look at a stage mother trying to relive her youth through an unwilling daughter. If love can't live without becoming an extension of another's behavior/appearence/accomplishments, then it becomes conditional and isn't really love. Sorry, psychoanalysis again.

    Take care, BF.
    Later.
    Bill.

    It's been a while since I've commented on any of your work
    | Posted on 2006-12-02 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      I've always felt the same about my looks, but it was other kids who did it to me. I was chubby, so I lost weight, and then they said I was too skinny. You're never going to please someone like that, and picking on you is just a way to build up herself. The people who used to make me feel like crap look worse than I do. Your mom's got the problem, not you. I'm not really keen on the rhyme because I think it lends a light mood, and the poem is on a serious subject, but that's your call.
    | Posted on 2006-05-20 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this because I know what that is like and can identify with it. But you have to make sure that if you want to improve yourself you do it not for anyone but yourself because you won't later have a reason in life to continue looking good or changing your image, if those people drop you.
    | Posted on 2006-05-19 00:00:00 | by Pursuitoflife | [ Reply to This ]
      this made me very sad and angry. a mother should never say such a thing to her child, it's abusive. that kind of thing sticks with you for years.

    there is no way to critique such a write. you've been honest and i know it must hurt you deeply. i wish i could share my mom with you, 'cause she's a gem. i only hope that you can find strength inside to realize that you are a beautiful person. try to remember that, and you have gifts to share with us.

    take care,
    ~Cat
    | Posted on 2006-05-19 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, your mom seems like a [censored], no offense. You shouldn't take it personally, just light up a blunt and relax. I'm 15 and have a receiding hairline. Everytime my mom mentions it, I just smoke some weed and forget about her. I'll just send her to a nursing home when she gets older. Just ignore her and smoke weed, it helps. The poem was pretty good, though. You shouldn't want to look like an old navy ad. All those chicks are anarexic, beliemic whores, who think that the only way they can love themselves is if everyone else thinks they look "pretty". They might seem happy on t.v. but they're really miserable [censored]es who pass out, from lack of nutrition, in their own vomit everynight. Have fun and smoke weed. Peace.
    | Posted on 2006-05-19 00:00:00 | by dude90998 | [ Reply to This ]
      Potent and heartbreaking was this poem. I'm sad to hear you go through this with your mom. No kid should feel this way ever. On to the poem now. I liked the analogies you chose to show how she effects you. I think the wording was strong and blunt. I feel you got your message across very well. The flow was a bit choppy, but still, this was very good.

    Catrina
    | Posted on 2006-05-19 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]


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