This is well written, although I lack background, I can fill it in too well with my own, and yet, I doubt that the story would be the same. I know that this isnt' what you would want to hear, but time marches on, and memories remain, but their sting will fade. Life goes on, and even our remorse begins to fade. I don' know what you are going through, although on an off guess, I'd say it is either leaving somebody you care about behind, or somebody you love has recently died, although I'm betting on the first.
Having gone through both, I realize that it's hard, and sincerely hope that you find a true friend to confide in. I've learned that these are the greatest gifts we have in this life, and, if you let them in, not quite as rare as you might think. I wish you nothing but peace with yourself and your world. Salaam.