Description: This was something quick I whipped up before I leave you again for a week.
Be loved,
Swanne
On Route -------------------------------------------
Busdriver,
where did you come from?
Tired but patient,
Do you remember our faces,
dream of our voices?
The ashen people
and their screaming children.
Busdriver,
We will forget you.
This was nice. I can tell you you did not put your normal amount of time or focus in this write. Maybe when you come back, expound more on why we the reader need to know about this bus driver and what you mean by the part with the kids. Good start, but needs more wrok. I can't wait till you return.
This is an interesting poem. I think this one needs a little work to really involve the reader in the overall message but I did get the message here, or at least I think I did hee hee! This basically says that there are so many people that we come across in our every day lives that are insignificant to us. People that we meet because we have to and then they are soon forgotten. I think if you expand on this a bit it would make more of an impact but this is a good beginning. Take care.
Submission Name: On Route
