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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Legacydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: wewak11
    Elite Ratio:    3.8 - 3436/3630/329
    Words: 170
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1317
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1092



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLegacydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Cut my Father from my life, in Spring of sixty-four,
    Didn't talk for thirty years, by then his health was poor;
    Sitting at his bedside rueful tears ran down my cheek,
    Hearing loud the final words that Dad would ever speak.

    "Grab life in two hands and wring its neck until it screams,
    Leave your pain in yesterday and concentrate on dreams;
    Take no heed of idiots, of men you can't respect,
    Anything you wouldn't give your dog - yourself reject.

    "Don't dwell on religion, when God's ready, you will know,
    Think about important things, like flowers, love and snow;
    Recognize the beauty of each living thing on Earth,
    Don't be scared to die, and thank your parents for your birth."

    As he died there, in my arms, I felt an inner peace,
    Burdens I had carried for so long at last released;
    Silently I sat there, helping Dad to reach the light,
    Right when I had needed most, my Father taught me right.






    Submitted on 2006-05-20 20:06:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      'Cut my Father from my life, in Spring of sixty-four,
    Didn't talk for thirty years, by then his health was poor;
    Sitting at his bedside rueful tears ran down my cheek,
    Hearing loud the final words that Dad would ever speak.

    "Grab life in two hands and wring its neck until it screams,
    Leave your pain in yesterday and concentrate on dreams;
    Take no heed of idiots, of men you can't respect,
    Anything you wouldn't give your dog - yourself reject.

    "Don't dwell on religion, when God's ready, you will know,
    Think about important things, like flowers, love and snow;
    Recognize the beauty of each living thing on Earth,
    Don't be scared to die, and thank your parents for your birth."

    As he died there, in my arms, I felt an inner peace,
    Burdens I had carried for so long at last released;
    Silently I sat there, helping Dad to reach the light,
    Right when I had needed most, my Father taught me right.'

    No doubt.

    This feels like the epilogue of three decades of simmering emotion that could have exploded (but quietly exhaled), similar to a war fought by men who've forgotten the reasons for the original conflict. This is a strange twist for you, Graeme; something so deeply felt that the passion mutes itself with hushed introspection that would appear agonized if it concluded in any other way than an epiphany. Definitely not a product of intellect or bored skills. Very reminiscent of what Dylan Thomas wrote his father, but with an embrace of light rather than a rage against it.

    Welcome to the cathedral.
    Take care.
    Bill.
    | Posted on 2006-05-25 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      I enjoyed this very much. Sadly, I refused to talk to my da when he was dying. I regret that daily now. I wonder after reading this, would he had imparted such knowledge to me? This was very good. I liked the wording and the simple truths in life your dad spoke of. I am glad you were able to make that last try at a connection before he passed, you have that inner peace I long for. Great write Graeme.

    Catrina
    | Posted on 2006-05-22 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmmmm...would that we could all have such wise and noble fathers...lol

    I won't even bother to go visit my dad when he lies on his death-bed...he wouldn't notice I was there, anyway...why should then be any different?

    Ah, such wounds we mortals carry...

    Stuffed inside their claws to bury...

    ~B~

    | Posted on 2006-05-22 00:00:00 | by Emerging Soul | [ Reply to This ]
      Dude. This was very good. The flow was awesome. I like the story it tells. And I like the last words you father said. I'm not sure if this really happened but if I was high right now, I might have cried a little. It was a great write.
    | Posted on 2006-05-21 00:00:00 | by dude90998 | [ Reply to This ]
      this is a lesson in forgiveness.. 30 years is such a long time to be estranged from someone.. i don't know if this is your life, but either way it is a powerful piece of writing, Graeme. this brought me to tears, it did..
    i think about my own parents and how someday they will die, and i just can't fathom it. we've not been estranged ('cept briefly in the '80s when i "came out"), but i could relate to the mortality here.. i love the lessons you have chosen to speak of :

    Grab life in two hands and wring its neck until it screams,
    Leave your pain in yesterday and concentrate on dreams;
    Take no heed of idiots, of men you can't respect,
    Anything you wouldn't give your dog - yourself reject.

    "Don't dwell on religion, when God's ready, you will know,
    Think about important things, like flowers, love and snow;
    Recognize the beauty of each living thing on Earth,
    Don't be scared to die, and thank your parents for your birth."

    very well done and poignant, my friend. it just reminds me to cherish my family and listen to the lessons that my parents have taught me along the way. i am lucky in that i have both my parents in my life right now, and i have learned some very important things from them.

    peace,
    ~Cat
    | Posted on 2006-05-21 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a very good piece Graeme. I'm finding that I had the same problem as Chell with the whole comment thing. I'm glad that you posted this though. The advice will live on and sink in with some and it is very good advice too I might add. It was a sad poem and brought back memories of holding my grandmother's hand as she took her last breath. I don't really know what else to say about this, but I really did like it!

    Candi
    | Posted on 2006-05-21 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]
      I think, when death comes that close to our door, life no longer feels surreal, we begin to contemplate our brief time on earth in a more rational way.

    Some poems about death are written for the cathartic effect it has own the author. This poem has that feel, yet it's written in a way that demonstrates a Father/son legacy... and that's something the reader can take away with him/her.

    No metaphors or restrained form needed here.
    Well written, too, I might add.
    | Posted on 2006-05-21 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      I couldn't figure out why no one had commented on this...Until I started trying to type a comment, and found myself speechless and crying.

    I was going to say something philosophical like, "Sometimes it takes death to bring people back together." and thought it sounded corny.

    So, then I was going to leave a supportive comment like, "At least you were with him at the end." and thought that sounded trite.

    It then occurred to me that I could leave a critique and mention that...um...well...I can't find anything I'd fix. (Well, other then that fact I'd use a period at the end of each of your dad's wonderful pieces of advice. But that would mess up the pattern you have used with the punctuation- was that on purpose?)

    Instead, I'm going to say, "great write, my newest fav." and go grab another tissue.

    Take Care,

    Chell
    | Posted on 2006-05-21 00:00:00 | by Chell | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh boy! This brought tears to my eyes, it is very beautiful....very well done! I have nothing to add or can find nothing to comment on in any other regard other than to say this is very beautiful.
    | Posted on 2006-06-14 00:00:00 | by Suffer Well | [ Reply to This ]


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