Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Every Wrong You Makedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: loveispain
    ASL Info:    23/f/ME
    Elite Ratio:    5.37 - 283/198/51
    Words: 173
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1088
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1158



    Description:
       Ummm... I guess parts of this is real. I love my boyfriend more than anything, and he's not as bad as made out to be here..haha...I've dramatized it..but...this poem is just about a girl needing something..anything...little things...and she's not getting them. And with every wrong he makes...he's losing her and he doesn't even know it. Thanks for reading.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEvery Wrong You Makedots
    -------------------------------------------


    With every word,
    You break me down.
    With every silence,
    I fall to my knees.
    Begging and needing,
    You to make me whole.
    And yet, I'm dying,
    Little by little,
    With every wrong you make.

    The sweet sound of love,
    is replaced by bitter,
    Nothingness.
    No feeling behind your words,
    No love in your touch.
    You ask why I,
    Care so much.
    But why do you,
    My love,
    Care so little?

    The signs of your love
    For me. Are gone.
    For every mile that separates us,
    Is how many times I need to hear
    I love you.
    I can't see it in your eyes,
    I miss it in your voice.
    It's not that I want you,
    It's that I can't live without you,
    But baby, I can't live like this.

    With every word,
    You break me down.
    With every silence,
    I fall to my knees.
    Begging and needing,
    You to make me whole.
    And yet, I'm dying,
    Little by little,
    With every wrong you make.





    Submitted on 2006-05-20 20:35:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I really like this poem, is strong and says a lot.

    The signs of your love
    For me. Are gone.

    the above lines don't look right, is it a typo?
    cause it would look better like this:

    The signs of your love
    For me are gone

    I mean I think the words for me belong on the first line... but idk how you'd work that out... but the 'for me' and 'are gone' shouldn't be seperated like that.

    Anyway, I ramble on... sorry. I really do like the poem!!
    | Posted on 2006-05-21 00:00:00 | by teenage_dirtbag | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm surprised no one has commented this piece yet! I found it very meaningfull. I can relate to it in my own relationship a little. He says the wrong things at the wrong times and doesn't realize what those things mean to me. Then when I confront him, it's all my fault for believing him in the first place. It's sad because I think most guys just joke around when they say things and don't realize how it effects us. Guys are dorks.
    | Posted on 2006-05-21 00:00:00 | by HurtDeepDown | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really meaningful and emotional, it's very sad and I think many people can relate to it whilst it still remains original. I agree with the other comment about The signs of your love. For me. Are gone. Lose the full stops.
    Great poem though
    | Posted on 2006-06-10 00:00:00 | by Sagirlie | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    104123

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry