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Roleplay | Viral news today | Music Theory

Pride

Author:	darkness
ASL Info:	19/F/my own world
Elite Ratio:	1.84 - 524 /218 /40
Words:	158

Class/Type:	Poetry /Angry
Total Views:	1820
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1070

Description:

Pride

Pride is what makes us demons
Pride is mankinds weakness

Pride is what seperates us
what makes us inhuman

Pride is to practice what you preach soulesly

Pride is modestys lost
non realizable

Pride is when you find faults in others
and none in yourself

Pride is what makes us unworthy of trust

Losing yourself in it
youve ruined yourself
to burn

Pride is your heart black and cold

Its how a spirit becomes a demon,

how Lucifer became satan

and the reason why I cannot change

Pride is what makes
me and her
He and I
you and them
stand togather

Pride is what seperates nations
Pride is what seperates nations
Pride is what seperates nations

Pride is you, sick and twisted
Pride is you,holy or unholy
pride is.

I see your pride
It is a shame that you do not.

Submitted on 2006-05-21 14:05:07 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments

Im afraid if I added all your poems to my favorites they wouldnt fit. But you should know anyway.

| Posted on 2007-06-03 00:00:00 | by GiveMeTheGun | [ Reply to This ]

This was cool and different. I really enjoyed reading it. Different format, good job. Thansk for sharing

Abbas

| Posted on 2006-06-01 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ]

I like the format of this poem. Very unique . . . and cool . . . h a h a h a h a. Anyways. it so awesome that I'm adding it to my favorites. Maybe some grammar changes but im can expectthat from you . . . I guess it makes it sould cooler... maybe? UGHHH... I don't know what to say... I just ... I like it a llloooooottttt!

<Unperfect3

| Posted on 2006-05-26 00:00:00 | by UnPerfect | [ Reply to This ]

I liked this but i agree the repitition of Pride is a little too common.... you could try

'Pride is your heart black and cold

Its how a spirit becomes a demon,

how Lucifer became satan

and the reason why I cannot change'

or something like this
Just a suggestion...
Thoroughly enjoyed the read though
Thanks

| Posted on 2006-05-25 00:00:00 | by hammyj | [ Reply to This ]

I like this. very full of meaning, and a slight twist of personal infabrication for a certain adherence. however, pride is used too much, try synonyms. like arrogance or something, but you got somehting here, nicely done. oh, and that 4th. line could use some revision, it seems forced.

| Posted on 2006-05-22 00:00:00 | by dismentled | [ Reply to This ]

i liked the write. it was different. you slander pride in way to make it seem like the sin it really is. if people read this they will no longer see pride as just a simple thing they will see it as so much more.

-brandon

| Posted on 2006-06-17 00:00:00 | by Leon Kennedy | [ Reply to This ]

I know what you mean...

this goes in my faves

| Posted on 2006-06-29 00:00:00 | by GothamFreak | [ Reply to This ]

I love this poem. . . . . . I can't stop reading it for some wierd reason~

~ g fREAK ~

>>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>>

| Posted on 2006-07-11 00:00:00 | by GothamFreak | [ Reply to This ]

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Pride

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