Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Pridedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: darkness
    ASL Info:    19/F/my own world
    Elite Ratio:    1.84 - 524/218/40
    Words: 158
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angry
    Total Views: 1509
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1070



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPridedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Pride is what makes us demons
    Pride is mankinds weakness

    Pride is what seperates us
    what makes us inhuman

    Pride is to practice what you preach soulesly

    Pride is modestys lost
    non realizable

    Pride is when you find faults in others
    and none in yourself

    Pride is what makes us unworthy of trust

    Losing yourself in it
    youve ruined yourself
    to burn

    Pride is your heart black and cold

    Its how a spirit becomes a demon,

    how Lucifer became satan

    and the reason why I cannot change

    Pride is what makes
    me and her
    He and I
    you and them
    stand togather

    Pride is what seperates nations
    Pride is what seperates nations
    Pride is what seperates nations

    Pride is you, sick and twisted
    Pride is you,holy or unholy
    pride is.

    I see your pride
    It is a shame that you do not.




    Submitted on 2006-05-21 14:05:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Im afraid if I added all your poems to my favorites they wouldnt fit. But you should know anyway.
    | Posted on 2007-06-03 00:00:00 | by GiveMeTheGun | [ Reply to This ]
      This was cool and different. I really enjoyed reading it. Different format, good job. Thansk for sharing

    Abbas
    | Posted on 2006-06-01 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the format of this poem. Very unique . . . and cool . . . h a h a h a h a. Anyways. it so awesome that I'm adding it to my favorites. Maybe some grammar changes but im can expectthat from you . . . I guess it makes it sould cooler... maybe? UGHHH... I don't know what to say... I just ... I like it a llloooooottttt!

    <Unperfect3
    | Posted on 2006-05-26 00:00:00 | by UnPerfect | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this but i agree the repitition of Pride is a little too common.... you could try

    'Pride is your heart black and cold

    Its how a spirit becomes a demon,

    how Lucifer became satan

    and the reason why I cannot change'

    or something like this
    Just a suggestion...
    Thoroughly enjoyed the read though
    Thanks
    | Posted on 2006-05-25 00:00:00 | by hammyj | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this. very full of meaning, and a slight twist of personal infabrication for a certain adherence. however, pride is used too much, try synonyms. like arrogance or something, but you got somehting here, nicely done. oh, and that 4th. line could use some revision, it seems forced.
    | Posted on 2006-05-22 00:00:00 | by dismentled | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked the write. it was different. you slander pride in way to make it seem like the sin it really is. if people read this they will no longer see pride as just a simple thing they will see it as so much more.

    -brandon
    | Posted on 2006-06-17 00:00:00 | by Leon Kennedy | [ Reply to This ]
      I know what you mean...











    this goes in my faves
    | Posted on 2006-06-29 00:00:00 | by GothamFreak | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this poem. . . . . . I can't stop reading it for some wierd reason~


    ~ g fREAK ~

    >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>>
    | Posted on 2006-07-11 00:00:00 | by GothamFreak | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    104198

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry