I like the format of this poem. Very unique . . . and cool . . . h a h a h a h a. Anyways. it so awesome that I'm adding it to my favorites. Maybe some grammar changes but im can expectthat from you . . . I guess it makes it sould cooler... maybe? UGHHH... I don't know what to say... I just ... I like it a llloooooottttt!
I like this. very full of meaning, and a slight twist of personal infabrication for a certain adherence. however, pride is used too much, try synonyms. like arrogance or something, but you got somehting here, nicely done. oh, and that 4th. line could use some revision, it seems forced.
i liked the write. it was different. you slander pride in way to make it seem like the sin it really is. if people read this they will no longer see pride as just a simple thing they will see it as so much more.