My Will by DaGrimReaperess

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Submission Name: My Will dots

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Author:	DaGrimReaperess
ASL Info:	20/F/who gives a shyt
Elite Ratio:	0.33 - 418/177/14
Words:	121

Class/Type:	Misc/Venting
Total Views:	270
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	692

Description:

My Will

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My will so strong, It brings me down
it is frowned upon, It makes my day.

Would i give it up for you?
Should I change for you?
I normally wouldnt.
I'd put up a fight, I'd light the fire, add fuel to it, let it burn, flames to the skies.

but is it really worth it?
for what it comes down to in the end,
covered in sand , dirt upon land

Shall I just give up
and do what you tell me
should i just listen to you
and get the fuck over with it?
for the sake of peace
for the sake of love
for YOUR happiness

so you would just fuck off...

Submitted on 2006-05-21 14:24:09 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  Yes your will will take u where u want to go!
| Posted on 2008-11-22 00:00:00 | by Sodais | [ Reply to This ]
  lol....its cool...its a COOL poem...brings a smile...that's worth it!
| Posted on 2007-12-18 00:00:00 | by N0shin | [ Reply to This ]
  I like how u worded trhis very good job hun hey yo hun why not yahoo me at TekkenSoulMaker n my pogo name so come find me n could I please use mic if u read my stuff then ude no why
| Posted on 2007-09-30 00:00:00 | by DrewDilla | [ Reply to This ]
  It doesn't matter who it is who's trying to control you, noone should force their will upon you. to yeild is to lose a part of yourself. Keep youself whole. don't give in to those whose will is weak and who feel they need to control you to be strong.
| Posted on 2007-06-30 00:00:00 | by Vampiric Death | [ Reply to This ]
  I like when people use the F word in poetry. All of my favorite have, Bukowski, Ginsberg, Burroughs, and I don't see it enough here on eliteskills.

But timing is everything. Maybe you were alittle excessive in putting it in neighboring stanzas. When its so close together, it becomes merely a word that supplants a real, creative adjective.

But in your writing, you have a large pool of powerful descriptive abilities, and would be selling yourself short to fall back on such a powerful, yet shallow word like F*ck.

And jesus christ this place is going to hell. When I was king [censored] around here people left real comments on your work, not off-site crap that clutters up the place with people's personal [censored] smear.

Ah well, f*ck it.
Not my problem.

MyX
| Posted on 2006-08-15 00:00:00 | by MyX | [ Reply to This ]
  H a h a h a h a h h aa aha a ahaha ah aah aha h a h a h a h . . . . . I got a new username. this is it. im at zaid's house right now so i cant ttime cuz im laughin so hard . o m g

~ p e a c e ~

jE vOUS aIME
| Posted on 2006-05-31 00:00:00 | by Je Vous Aime | [ Reply to This ]
  beautiful ending. couldn't have been better. I like what you're saying, but it needs a different format, to better get across so people wont just read through it, but read into it, and see what you're saying, man, it's real, and thats needed now adays. peace.
| Posted on 2006-05-21 00:00:00 | by dismentled | [ Reply to This ]
  nice yo it is icy
oh yeah and if your talkin about dad
do it ok just do it

fana
| Posted on 2006-06-03 00:00:00 | by BusterLILblock | [ Reply to This ]
  be above teh fukin influence :P

I suppose it was Ok. I'm not much for poems and i rarely understand any of them but it was ok as far as i can tell.. (not very far)

*signed in blue scribble*
MowsysWrath
| Posted on 2006-07-12 00:00:00 | by MowsysWrath | [ Reply to This ]
  Sounds to me like a boyfriend trying to play the "I own you card" Hope not cuz that's some really serious [censored]. Anyway I liked it, keep it up.
David
| Posted on 2006-09-08 00:00:00 | by D.C.M. | [ Reply to This ]
  i agree
| Posted on 2006-07-09 00:00:00 | by me_emo | [ Reply to This ]
  I totally agree with dismentled. He or she (whatever) makes a great point. That is what people today are lacking. They don't speak their mind. They keep everything bottled up inside. They say what they think they're allowed to say. They say what others want them to say . . . . . . . . . but your poem have this feeling to it . . . . like you're not trying to impress anybody . . . . like you don't care what the rest of the world thinks of you. You just say what you want to say, and if somebody disagrees with you . . . . . . . it's their problem. I really admire you for that because I'm the type of person that tries to make everybody happy . . . even if it means making myself unhappy. I mean . . . I speak my mind and all but it's different. It's like I'm doing things for other and they dont care. Hahaha . . . they think I'm stupid for always doing things for them . . . kinda like they can make me do anything . . . but they don't know who I am . . . if I think I'm being manipulated I'll stand up for myself but I dont know . . . it's just weird. Nobody cares . . . no matter how much you do for them . . . they just don't give a crap. If I were like you I wouldnt care but the thing is that I do. I want to make their lives better no matter how much they say. I wish I could be more like you. Write, speak, and act freely . . . not caring.
| Posted on 2006-05-27 00:00:00 | by UnPerfect | [ Reply to This ]
  rawr.
This poem makes me creeeeeeeeamm.
Niggggggg you are one talented fool.
In the INSIDE.
Cuz on the outside you're a nut.
SKANK.

xD
| Posted on 2006-06-26 00:00:00 | by GiveMeTheGun | [ Reply to This ]
  Hey..

Your poem is ok.. It just doesnt really describe why or when or how..
it just is..

So theres really not much to comment on..
It kind of sounds like a parent.. trying to control..
Im not sure..

Goed dag.. ;)

shaun
| Posted on 2006-06-18 00:00:00 | by shanu | [ Reply to This ]
  it is a really forceful piece and i like the end too. it completes the poem. and dont care what othe rpeople think just do what you do.

Yunus
| Posted on 2006-09-08 00:00:00 | by me_emo | [ Reply to This ]

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