[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: What The Hell Have I Written?dots

    Author: Roberto Santos
    ASL Info:    18/Male/India
    Elite Ratio:    2.96 - 118/159/75
    Words: 100
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 893
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 594

       I wrote this half-asleep one night, and later I couldn't figure out what I was trying to convey at the time. Anyone venturing a guess?

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhat The Hell Have I Written?dots

    The first time - or the last?
    I am yet to decide
    Are you the one meant for me?
    Meant to be by my side.

    Is this what heaven must feel like
    After at least a while?
    Or is it just a mad fantasy
    My mind just can't reconcile?

    So many questions - yet so few answers
    Abound in my mind
    Unless these issues are resolved
    No peace will I find.

    Awake - for there can be no salvation
    We have been doomed from the first
    No one shall give us water
    Although we die from thirst.

    Submitted on 2006-05-22 03:08:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Hmm. I don't have a clue what was going through your mind, but I do like the poem regardless. It flows very well, and the rhyming does not seemed forced. That is a hard task to accomplish. At first it sounds like you could be talking about love, and Heaven being with the person whom you love. But then you find out that it all was just a fantasy, and you become disappointed. I don't understand how th end could really fit in with my theory, and I am probably completely wrong, but hey, I tried. :D Good luck on figuring everything out.
    | Posted on 2006-05-22 00:00:00 | by RedRoseofBlood | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]