[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Mauti Roho - Death of the Spiritdots

    Author: Anticlownperson
    ASL Info:    16/f/nowhere land
    Elite Ratio:    3.29 - 248/390/118
    Words: 83
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Serious
    Total Views: 881
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 502

       In 1994, over 800,000 people died in a one hundred day period.

    Bodies were piled in trucks and on streets.

    Gunfire rang out day and night.

    The children of those killed still live.

    They will remember those days for the rest of their lives.

    This is for Rwanda.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMauti Roho - Death of the Spiritdots

    hear the guns, the metal roar
    all fall down at the sound of war
    the dying men give desperate cries
    the shrapnel rains from smokey skies
    and when the battle then is done
    we still must ask which side has won
    we'll see the carnage that we reap
    we'll all fall to our knees and weep
    but yet at end, who will remain?
    will there be ones still left unslain?
    a silence falls like none before
    no one escapes the depths of war

    Submitted on 2006-05-22 15:22:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I loved this poem. It reflects my own personal beliefs also, so I really appreciated the theme. This poem expresses a very real emotional response to war. It is profound and forces the reader to see the bare truth, setting aside all political, economic, and social boundaries.

    The rhyme and imagery are perfect for the ideas conveyed, and the poem has a flow to it.

    My favorite lines:

    the dying men give desperate cries
    the shrapnel rains from smokey skies

    You've painted a wonderfully simple picture of the reality here. It leaves the reader to fill in the blanks and look within themselves for solice from this all too-real happenstance.
    | Posted on 2006-05-26 00:00:00 | by Donne Rogue | [ Reply to This ]
      Short, but very good ! We saw the movie 'Hotel Rwanda' with school and I liked it.(Actually I wasn't at school but my teacher gave me the Dvd.) At first I found it hard to believe that it was based on true events, but when I did some research I had no choice but to believe it. I think it's horrible that such things happen, it's awfull.
    Again, good poem. Keep it up !
    | Posted on 2006-05-23 00:00:00 | by Tom110989 | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow! This was poweful indeed. The lives of those left behind will be haunted with memories for life. I flet you did a good job with relating the events and giving details full of imagery, just not cut and dry. I'm sorry people had to endure such a war. You spoke truth and did it well. Great work!

    | Posted on 2006-05-22 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      very powerful piece of writing.. really, no one "wins" a war, do they? it's the ones left behind who will never be the same.. it can certainly kill the spirit when one has witnessed such carnage.. and like you say, no one escapes the depths of war.

    very well-written, short, concise and to the point.

    | Posted on 2006-05-22 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]