This was really well done. It painted a whole story. It was in its own right original and I imagine diffucult to write. I probably enjoyed it so much because it reminded me of two of my favorite poems by Poe. The Raven and Annabel Lee. Thanks for sharing
I think this form is probably one of the hardest to tell a story with because the repeated line sometimes feel stilted. This is not bad and I liked the story you painted, but caught myself going back to see if A1 and A2 could be reversed and still work. I just don't think it gets much smoother in this poetic form. jan
I loved reading this! So few words, and yet you were able to incorporate so much feeling, so many images with very little painted for us to read. The line "She was the reason, and he the rhyme" really made the poem, in my opinion. I suppose that the way you included and made that phrase your own made the poem that much more enjoyable. I admire you for trying a difficult form. I myself have never endeavored to create a villanelle. It seems so grueling a task if one isn't concentrated wholly on the poem at hand. Anyway, enough of my rambling. Thank you so much for sharing this!
Wow, it is a very good villanelle. You used the classic way of writing the ballads (That to write a short interval-timed story) which gave more life to your villanelle. In "Her scent was of tangerine and lime" you add the smell to your picture making it livelier. It is really a very good villanelle.