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    dots Submission Name: The wandererdots

    Author: Localfreak
    ASL Info:    37, Maybe, Here
    Elite Ratio:    5.37 - 131/123/76
    Words: 184
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1229
    Average Vote:    2.0000
    Bytes: 1129

       Just wanted to see what I could write in a couple of minutes one day.
    doesn't really mean much, unless you want it to!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe wandererdots

    A second away from hatred
    I take a look around
    Only to see an ancient wanderer
    Alight a firefly to the ground

    He sits and looks at me
    And he lights a cigarette
    from the embers of a dying heart
    From within His calloused grasp

    My heart stops cold beneath his gaze
    As I wonder why he came
    To me, within my moment
    Within my grasp of hatreds throne

    Yet as the wanderer reaches out
    My Shell cannot react
    My mind reels back a thousand yards
    But My body holds me back

    The hand that grips my shoulder
    Fells as warm as Frozen fire
    And the wanderers breath upon my ear
    Eclipses all but concious thought

    He tells me things I never knew
    Incorpses me with lies and truths
    Destroys the dreams of a mortal man
    As my mind erupts from this withered shell

    I stood a second away from hatred
    Until this vision came to me
    And with all the sights I've now seen of life
    I know, a hateful man I shall be

    Submitted on 2006-05-23 10:53:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I think this poem has more potential than I am getting from it. It is vague...to me. I like that about this work though. I did get a vividly clear image of, ".. a firefly on the ground
    He sits and looks at me
    and lights a cigerette"
    "The hand that grip me feel like frozen fire" Good imagery. Keep it up
    | Posted on 2006-05-24 00:00:00 | by bran_flake | [ Reply to This ]
      wow this was so...*can't think of proper word* thought provoking *still isn't right but I'll settle for that* I loved how vivid this was this was, it leaves enough to the imagination but it paints a really cool story at the same time, yeah I loved this, wouldn't change a thing, can't wait for the next one,
    | Posted on 2006-06-29 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]

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