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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Conflictdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Localfreak
    ASL Info:    37, Maybe, Here
    Elite Ratio:    5.37 - 131/123/76
    Words: 298
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Serious
    Total Views: 1126
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1819



    Description:
       The one lesson I recall from my schooldays was about the reality of war!!!!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsConflictdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Blood on the ground.
    Tasting the dust as it mixes with tears
    Shes hearing the sounds.
    Of leather on dirt as the soldiers draw near

    His orders today were to take out the village
    They blew up the school, to see the body parts fly
    Laughing at the boys on the knees down before him
    Sucking on the barrel as their families died

    She cant feel her legs.
    Her thighs are too bruised from where they took what they liked
    Thinks back to her son.
    Who watched his mother abused before he choked on the knife

    Treats it as a game as hes pulling the trigger
    Bodies a goal, and a head for a ball
    Wearing the garb of a legalised killer
    A legalised rapist, the village a whore

    (instrumental break)

    She was content with her lot.
    Till the door was kicked open in military style
    Ring out a shot.
    Her scars they may heal but never her mind

    Theres nobody left and the village is quiet
    Hes been taking a piss, in the mouth of a corpse
    Spent his last round in the last of the babies
    With no one to fight back, hes loving this war

    Growing short of breath now.

    Trying to hold back bloody tears.

    Shes nothing left to live for.

    Should she let them know shes here?

    The only sound now is their laughter.

    Adding up their kills and spoils.

    No. She wont give them satisfaction.

    She will get out and tell the world

    With an ache in her heart.
    She lifts up her head and looks all around
    Shes starting to crawl.
    Made it thirty four yards before they blew her apart




    Submitted on 2006-05-23 10:58:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
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    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hey,

    This is a really serious issue you have spoken....Wars are waste of time, waste of resources and waste of lives...Yea, there may be people out there who do not deserve to live but that doesn't mean that you have to kill even the most innocent ones.

    I've read some war essays a while back and those were the things that happened in the past and although there probably were more unwritten deaths than written, still it is worth writting about such issues.

    I did find your piece a bit disturbing in terms of structure....I felt that at times i didn't want to keep reading or that i didn't know how certain things were to be read because there was a lack of puntuaction although i did see some full stops. Still it wasn't enough and didn't really read like it was suppose to be read...

    Apart from that, i believe you've done pretty good....very vivid images here and worth reading.

    Do take care... Hope that we meet soon again....
    Irina
    | Posted on 2006-06-15 00:00:00 | by charmedidentity | [ Reply to This ]
      Damn! That's serious stuff!

    Very well written, very descriptive... I got a sickeningly clear picture of what was going on. This is so sad.

    I am not an emotional person, but stories of this nature concerning war and sadistic nature of those involved bring me to a place of sorrow... this piece did that.

    This is great work!
    | Posted on 2006-11-10 00:00:00 | by kiddo13 | [ Reply to This ]


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