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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Envydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Localfreak
    ASL Info:    37, Maybe, Here
    Elite Ratio:    5.37 - 131/123/76
    Words: 120
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1230
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 725



    Description:
       This is what happens when you write depressed and drunk in a bar!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEnvydots
    -------------------------------------------


    How I envy them
    Rushing on their way to some important business
    Or perhaps into the arms of a loved one
    As I hobble through the throng of bodies
    With no intent but to waste the hours
    Which nature has given in vain to one such as I

    Driven by nothing, I stand
    Deplorable to all unwanted by more
    Affected by naught but the winds light caress
    Needing nothing but purpose, direction and soul
    A belief of the kind once sold

    How I envy them all
    Decisions affecting some person so close
    An errand to run, answering someone who spoke
    A purpose for moving, a reason to be
    I envy them all for not being me.




    Submitted on 2006-05-23 11:07:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like this, or the voice of the poem, you know? The flow is great, and although the mood is suppose to be depressing, its well-written, so the reader doesnt all much mind...Ive had these thoughts before actually its amazing how you got them onto paper...I often look at people and wonder what their thoughts are..or what their life is like...and how theirs is probably so different from mine, but probably not in the way I expect. Good Write.

    Until we write again,

    ~ink~
    | Posted on 2007-02-14 00:00:00 | by inkonspikuous | [ Reply to This ]
      That's really good, powerful. I really liked the ending. The poems meaning was very clear but it maintained originality and depth. I loved it.
    | Posted on 2006-06-10 00:00:00 | by Sagirlie | [ Reply to This ]


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