In your perspective it was your time to go. How much you are missed you will never know.
What you did left us all deep in sorrow. Let us hope we all still wish to see tomorrow.
| first of all, let me personally welcome you to ES. i sincerely wish that your time spent here is edifying to your literarily and also quite enjoyable. |
as to your poem. quick nitpick on the last line of the last stanza... you put "tommarow" and the correct spelling should be "tomorrow".
now... when i read this i have to say that i immediately liked this. and although i agree with koster that this reads like an eloquent epitaph i would have to say there is something much deeper here. this poem is a tribute and bidding farewell to a man who committed suicide. mr. e, whoever he may have been to you in relation obviously had a lasting impact in your life.
this poem is well crafted. i think its length being short and abrupt may also symbolize the life of mr. e, with him taking it so prematurely. i really enjoyed this.
this is the first poem that i have read of yours and i am quite enthused to read more if they are as well written as this one. nice work.
|| Posted on 2006-06-01 00:00:00 | by Sacred Sindy | [ Reply to This ] || hmmm. It reads like a 17th century tombstone, and taken simply as it is, it comes across kind of bouncy and rhyme-ridden...so it is easy to deflect the meaning from the simple wording and cement like rhymes...|
which is sort of how we see death, in our culture...nobody looks too closely at something simple, yet profound...reassurring and necessary, but avoided at all costs...so one could say this has a sly laquering of layers...making it "go away" and it is standing just behind your shoulder..
|| Posted on 2006-05-28 00:00:00 | by koster | [ Reply to This ] || For a short write pretty damn good, the only thing I have a problem with is the format.|
Just fix that and everything will be all right
Keep up the good work
|| Posted on 2006-06-16 00:00:00 | by Dragon of Roses | [ Reply to This ] |