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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Stolen Kissdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DarkLadyWolf
    Elite Ratio:    1.48 - 6/10/4
    Words: 163
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1419
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 971



    Description:
       Mainly about.... One morning, I was watching my boyfriend sleep. I wanted to kiss him, but at the same time not wake him while doing so.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Stolen Kissdots
    -------------------------------------------


    In sweet slumber, your head lay
    Your chest heaved with tender breathing
    As I watch with the dawn of the new day.
    How calming it is to watch you sleeping.

    No toil, no trouble, no disappointment
    Stain your smooth, fair brow
    As you sleep in a river of tenderness
    How I long to kiss you now

    But, oh, how peaceful you look
    Sleeping so sound, without a care
    Could a tender kiss wake you
    If I had the courage to even dare?

    A soft curl pressed to your head
    I gently brush aside
    The slight touch, you did not stir
    And so I gather up my pride

    Slowly, ever so slowly do I
    Caress your lips with mine
    You do not stir, I sigh a sigh
    You still slumber, all is fine

    And so I sit and watch you
    As you lay and continue to dream
    I smile, because you will never know
    The kiss I stole unseen




    Submitted on 2006-05-23 23:27:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      wow its nic i really liked it...
    beautiful
    u should write more poems....n u have a muse tooo CJ lol
    so go ahead steal more kisses n write more poems lol
    | Posted on 2006-10-11 00:00:00 | by anooplokur | [ Reply to This ]
      I'd say, one of the best experiences a man can attain is waking up beside the one you love.
    A well written piece.
    Good metaphorical use
    I felt the passion that you emmited.
    I like the last line, it leads on to further thinking and such...
    Try finding better vocabulary.
    Add a colorful vocab to this peice and it could improve even more.
    Well written.
    Write on.
    | Posted on 2006-09-26 00:00:00 | by Valle_Siddious | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very nice poem Manda, it is full of sentiment and rythym. Your spelling and grammer are fine, so no need to fix that. Your flow and structure are great, too. Everything in this poem seems to work just the way you wrote it. I love this poem, and the feeling it gives me when I read it. The only flaw is in the last rhyme, 'dream' and 'seen'. But, I love the last two lines:

    I smile, because you will never know
    The kiss I stole unseen

    Good work Manda, and I hope you post something else soon. I am looking forward to reading it. Kudos.

    With Love,
    Sara
    | Posted on 2006-05-30 00:00:00 | by saramaple | [ Reply to This ]
      awwwww
    this must be one of the sweetest poems i had read in a while manda! u dont get many poems like this and u just did a great job with it
    all the love
    tashea
    | Posted on 2006-05-30 00:00:00 | by nikita2u | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this, it's really sweet a describes exactly how i've felt many a morning, it's really playful it's nice to read something that is not depressing and dark all the time, thank you ~J
    | Posted on 2006-05-24 00:00:00 | by sunset | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice. Good job. Just, this is your first poem, don't be afraid to stray from rhyming. Sometimes poems can turn better that way. This one I think was excellent with the rhyming. Good job and keep writing.
    ~CAotic~
    | Posted on 2006-09-07 00:00:00 | by Caotic_Disaster | [ Reply to This ]
      Honestly, Wow, I saw you had one post submitted so was expecting sumthing juvenile trash like, and found a quite advanced and well done poem with good syntax and a great basis, aswell as theme and writter.

    I cant wait to see more.
    | Posted on 2006-09-08 00:00:00 | by obsidiandreams | [ Reply to This ]


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