The Stolen Kiss by DarkLadyWolf

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Submission Name: The Stolen Kiss dots

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Author:	DarkLadyWolf
Elite Ratio:	1.48 - 6/10/4
Words:	163

Class/Type:	Misc/Misc
Total Views:	1780
Average Vote:	5.0000
Bytes:	971

Description:
Mainly about.... One morning, I was watching my boyfriend sleep. I wanted to kiss him, but at the same time not wake him while doing so.

The Stolen Kiss dots

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In sweet slumber, your head lay
Your chest heaved with tender breathing
As I watch with the dawn of the new day.
How calming it is to watch you sleeping.

No toil, no trouble, no disappointment
Stain your smooth, fair brow
As you sleep in a river of tenderness
How I long to kiss you now

But, oh, how peaceful you look
Sleeping so sound, without a care
Could a tender kiss wake you
If I had the courage to even dare?

A soft curl pressed to your head
I gently brush aside
The slight touch, you did not stir
And so I gather up my pride

Slowly, ever so slowly do I
Caress your lips with mine
You do not stir, I sigh a sigh
You still slumber, all is fine

And so I sit and watch you
As you lay and continue to dream
I smile, because you will never know
The kiss I stole unseen

Submitted on 2006-05-23 23:27:54 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  wow its nic i really liked it...
beautiful
u should write more poems....n u have a muse tooo CJ lol
so go ahead steal more kisses n write more poems lol
| Posted on 2006-10-11 00:00:00 | by anooplokur | [ Reply to This ]
  I'd say, one of the best experiences a man can attain is waking up beside the one you love.
A well written piece.
Good metaphorical use
I felt the passion that you emmited.
I like the last line, it leads on to further thinking and such...
Try finding better vocabulary.
Add a colorful vocab to this peice and it could improve even more.
Well written.
Write on.
| Posted on 2006-09-26 00:00:00 | by Valle_Siddious | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a very nice poem Manda, it is full of sentiment and rythym. Your spelling and grammer are fine, so no need to fix that. Your flow and structure are great, too. Everything in this poem seems to work just the way you wrote it. I love this poem, and the feeling it gives me when I read it. The only flaw is in the last rhyme, 'dream' and 'seen'. But, I love the last two lines:

I smile, because you will never know
The kiss I stole unseen

Good work Manda, and I hope you post something else soon. I am looking forward to reading it. Kudos.

With Love,
Sara
| Posted on 2006-05-30 00:00:00 | by saramaple | [ Reply to This ]
  awwwww
this must be one of the sweetest poems i had read in a while manda! u dont get many poems like this and u just did a great job with it
all the love
tashea
| Posted on 2006-05-30 00:00:00 | by nikita2u | [ Reply to This ]
  I love this, it's really sweet a describes exactly how i've felt many a morning, it's really playful it's nice to read something that is not depressing and dark all the time, thank you ~J
| Posted on 2006-05-24 00:00:00 | by sunset | [ Reply to This ]
  Nice. Good job. Just, this is your first poem, don't be afraid to stray from rhyming. Sometimes poems can turn better that way. This one I think was excellent with the rhyming. Good job and keep writing.
~CAotic~
| Posted on 2006-09-07 00:00:00 | by Caotic_Disaster | [ Reply to This ]
  Honestly, Wow, I saw you had one post submitted so was expecting sumthing juvenile trash like, and found a quite advanced and well done poem with good syntax and a great basis, aswell as theme and writter.

I cant wait to see more.
| Posted on 2006-09-08 00:00:00 | by obsidiandreams | [ Reply to This ]

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Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.