Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Come Backdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: liamzamudio
    ASL Info:    15/m/Cardiff
    Elite Ratio:    1.8 - 7/17/15
    Words: 196
    Class/Type: Poetry/Friendship
    Total Views: 520
    Average Vote:    3.0000
    Bytes: 1098



    Description:
       This was originally part of the poem true friend but the middle sounded like an ending so i split them up.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCome Backdots
    -------------------------------------------



    Maybe Iím sending mixed signals
    Maybe for some reason you canít see
    But the ever-growing distance between us
    is slowly killing me

    I donít know what to suggest
    And I donít know what to do
    The best solution I have right now
    Is to tell you that I love you

    I donít know if it will help
    I donít know if itís what you want to hear
    I just want you to know it would really help
    For me to just know that youíre here

    I really need you here right now
    When things seem bad like this
    I want to talk like we used to
    Itís the good times weíve had that I miss

    I donít want you to think that Iím blaming you
    For the fact that weíre drifting apart
    And even if you donít want to fix this problem
    There will always be a place for you in my heart

    I need you now like I need air to breathe
    Donít think that Iím lying, I do
    My sky is clouded over with black at the moment
    Come back, be my sun and break through




    Submitted on 2006-05-24 07:04:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      It had a certain sadness about it - i could really feel emotion. I thought it quite good, because it was so passionate. Maybe you should try to use more punctuation to vary the sentence structure, so that you can play with the mood more. I think you could be really good!!
    love anna anna
    | Posted on 2006-05-25 00:00:00 | by anna anna | [ Reply to This ]
      It rhymes, has a nice rhythm. Sweet, true. You're on your way to be a great poet
    | Posted on 2006-05-24 00:00:00 | by bran_flake | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    104555

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    FamiliarDemons ¬©‚ĄĘ written by kyserin
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    In a Corner written by jeniecel

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry