[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: <b>The Day after the End</b>dots

    Author: vitoko
    ASL Info:    24/M
    Elite Ratio:    4.4 - 690/442/104
    Words: 64
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1123
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 406

       well i guess only one person will get what i mean in this writing ...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots<b>The Day after the End</b>dots

    Why did I give you my words
    Exalting your wings to ease my pain
    Throwing my sores away?

    Believing I was your god,
    Ignoring I am a negative creep.
    Grateful for helping me feed my greed

    Tons of tears dropping from my veins
    Increases your pain and sorrow.
    Tear down the wall of loving.
    See the rainbow after the deluge of razors!!

    Submitted on 2006-05-24 12:40:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I wasn't feeling this one Victor. It seemed to be stepped in Melodrama and it bounced between sounding classical in wording to trite. I strongly encourage you to revise this and use a more creative way or be blunt about your apin, mixing the two is not working here for you. Overall, good, needs more work.

    | Posted on 2006-09-12 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      Wet big tits? I assume there is a hidden meaning there?? Anyway, I feel your pain in this one. I liked it.. but what happened? Sounds like an interesting tale to tell. Sorry about your pain though. It made a good write! That's a plus!
    Holy xx
    | Posted on 2006-09-11 00:00:00 | by Holy Wood | [ Reply to This ]
      Hm..Victor, I loved this piece..But I'm not sure what to get by it..I read the first letter of each line, I got that, were you angry by that name I took? It was only a joke, Victor I love you..no matter what, just know that..

    "Believing I was your god,
    Ignoring I am a negative creep."

    I guess that part hit me the fastest..I mean your not negative, and certainly not a creep my dear, You just have problems like everyone else..

    "Why did I give you my words
    Exalting your wings to ease my pain"

    My wings?..Your angel..makes sense..You gave me your words, because you wanted to, You needed to feel truly in love..and It wasn't bad, was it?..

    Anywho loved piece I really did love it!! I'm sowy that I hurt you..Its not what I intended..I love you...

    | Posted on 2006-05-24 00:00:00 | by rainbowXrazors | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Bond written by saartha
    written by Daniel Barlow
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Incubus written by monad
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Push written by JanePlane
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    True Death written by layDsayD
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Linger written by saartha
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Wavelength written by saartha
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]