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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: <b>The Day after the End</b>dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: vitoko
    ASL Info:    24/M
    Elite Ratio:    4.4 - 690/442/104
    Words: 64
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1220
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 406



    Description:
       well i guess only one person will get what i mean in this writing ...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots<b>The Day after the End</b>dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Why did I give you my words
    Exalting your wings to ease my pain
    Throwing my sores away?

    Believing I was your god,
    Ignoring I am a negative creep.
    Grateful for helping me feed my greed

    Tons of tears dropping from my veins
    Increases your pain and sorrow.
    Tear down the wall of loving.
    See the rainbow after the deluge of razors!!




    Submitted on 2006-05-24 12:40:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I wasn't feeling this one Victor. It seemed to be stepped in Melodrama and it bounced between sounding classical in wording to trite. I strongly encourage you to revise this and use a more creative way or be blunt about your apin, mixing the two is not working here for you. Overall, good, needs more work.

    Catrina
    | Posted on 2006-09-12 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      Wet big tits? I assume there is a hidden meaning there?? Anyway, I feel your pain in this one. I liked it.. but what happened? Sounds like an interesting tale to tell. Sorry about your pain though. It made a good write! That's a plus!
    Holy xx
    | Posted on 2006-09-11 00:00:00 | by Holy Wood | [ Reply to This ]
      Hm..Victor, I loved this piece..But I'm not sure what to get by it..I read the first letter of each line, I got that, were you angry by that name I took? It was only a joke, Victor I love you..no matter what, just know that..

    "Believing I was your god,
    Ignoring I am a negative creep."

    I guess that part hit me the fastest..I mean your not negative, and certainly not a creep my dear, You just have problems like everyone else..

    "Why did I give you my words
    Exalting your wings to ease my pain"

    My wings?..Your angel..makes sense..You gave me your words, because you wanted to, You needed to feel truly in love..and It wasn't bad, was it?..


    Anywho loved piece I really did love it!! I'm sowy that I hurt you..Its not what I intended..I love you...

    Lucy
    | Posted on 2006-05-24 00:00:00 | by rainbowXrazors | [ Reply to This ]


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