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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Lips for Triggers (Hearts for Targets)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: shmurr
    ASL Info:    18 / male / maine
    Elite Ratio:    1.58 - 34/129/127
    Words: 149
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 204
    Average Vote:    4.6667
    Bytes: 941



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLips for Triggers (Hearts for Targets)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    You think less of me,
    the way your eyes
    curl up at the sound of my voice.
    Something went wrong,
    terribly wrong,
    at the old picket fence
    that frames your mother’s garden.
    Like two gnomes,
    we stood fixed in dramatic positions
    with fingers like barrels
    from a sawed-off shotgun,
    lips for triggers,
    and hearts for targets.
    You did most the talking.
    Rumor has it
    I learned to hide my hands
    in my pockets,
    can’t say the same for my ears,
    poor bastards.
    So you yelled,
    and I churned buttered palms
    in thick denim,
    'til my pants spit up a dime,
    a ripped receipt
    and some lint
    into your mother’s roses,
    which, by the way,
    will bow their ugly heads
    to the old picket fence
    and weep at what they saw
    that day in the garden.




    Submitted on 2006-05-24 19:36:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Once again, you have pleased, and left me completely stunned by your talent.

    Seriously, I have no more to say, except good job.

    -Charlese
    | Posted on 2006-05-28 00:00:00 | by Yclipse | [ Reply to This ]
      once again another impactful masterpiece from my fellow poetic genious. Ok maybe thats going a little too far, but honestly the words you spilll are like a pilll, not nyquill but percaset. Ha Ha, keep it up, PEACE.
    | Posted on 2006-05-25 00:00:00 | by Silenced poet | [ Reply to This ]
      Shmurr your poetry is very honest. By honest I mean your a true to your inner vision and voice. It doesn't matter if the poem is based in fact or completely made-up, as long as the poet is honest in the moments of writing and is there inside, inhabiting his character. Great cadence to this write. It had a feeling of driving nails the old fashioned way, with a hammer. This pacing matched the underlying anger that laced this vivid piece with bitterness. Another great write shmurr. ladyauthor1
    | Posted on 2006-05-25 00:00:00 | by ladyauthor1 | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this part

    "the way your eyes
    curl up at the sound of my voice"

    This is oh-so true, man. I felt this sometime myself.

    Keep it up. I like your title by the way.
    | Posted on 2006-05-25 00:00:00 | by D-Ink | [ Reply to This ]



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