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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Racial Anatomydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: xaos
    Elite Ratio:    2.73 - 34/54/49
    Words: 69
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 144
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 554



    Description:
       Note: I'm still working on this poem. Just been typing it up slowly line by line for a few days. It's still a rough draft, but any feedback would be appreciated. Thanks All.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRacial Anatomydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Flowers bloom like masterpieces,
    while humanity is dehydrated of colors.
    Insipid and insecure
    Intangible ignorance builds walls
    between our innocence and belligerence.
    Abhorrent minds thrive.
    Spawned from fear and debauched upbringing.
    They misconceive my culture
    compose an image to provoke a counterfeit me.
    View my ipseity with a barren prospective
    adamant and ignorant to reality.
    Humanity is deaf, stolen and reaped
    of the water-colored beauty we yearn for.




    Submitted on 2006-05-25 01:08:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      whoa thats cool
    not that big words, but i think its fine...

    i like the beginning part

    | Posted on 2006-05-25 00:00:00 | by darkness | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really cool. The only thing I would change is some of the words you used. You want your readers to relate to your poems. If they don't understand what your saying, then they can't relate.

    Nice job
    Lia
    | Posted on 2006-05-25 00:00:00 | by Glassy Eyed | [ Reply to This ]
      this is good, but the whole big word thing...thats cool within reason...after a while i lost track of the poem and just was left wondering what a few of the words mean...stretch it out and scramble it up between easy read and smart guy profile...it's cool though...the poem doesn't suck and i'm sorry if you got that vibe...
    | Posted on 2006-05-25 00:00:00 | by suicidalacts72 | [ Reply to This ]



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