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    dots Submission Name: To My Gravedots

    Author: MyFairCalamity
    ASL Info:    17**I'm a lady**philly
    Elite Ratio:    7.1 - 115/67/16
    Words: 88
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1389
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 535


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTo My Gravedots

    If you want my silence,
    Then Iíll sew up my mouth
    So no words can come out.
    Hand me a needle,
    Iíve got some thread.

    If you insist I keep quiet,
    Then your secrets safe with me
    I wonít tell the truth honey.
    Iíll take it to my grave,
    And six feet under it will stay.

    If itís so important to you,
    Then Iíll never speak of it
    And thatís a promise I wonít quit.
    But just because they stay secret,
    Doesnít mean they donít exist.

    Submitted on 2006-05-26 10:43:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      lol... well the final of this wriitng is great :
    "just because they stay secret,
    Doesnít mean they donít exist."

    lol you hvae here a lot to say and it is totally true... well so keep that secret otherwise you willl be killed ... well good write and keep writing peace and love
    have a nice day
    | Posted on 2006-09-25 00:00:00 | by vitoko | [ Reply to This ]
      hi kate,

    this was goood but it left me wondering about things. what secrets, what happened, whats going on. yes, im nosy. when i read ppls poetry and it like this i cant help but wonder about it. im hot. ahhhhh! bell. bye

    | Posted on 2006-05-30 00:00:00 | by LoveToHateMe | [ Reply to This ]
      What's appealing to this piece is the image you bring to fold. For me it was like a beautifully tragic Hedonist with her philosophies in life colliding with those who are too afraid to let themselves go... or perhaps someone who sells sugar in order to survive.

    What's tragic about the character is that it appears as though she has accepted the reality of a good f.uck. You can thrust as much as you want but that connection would still be mere skin-to-skin if the other half of the union doesn't necessarily desire anything more than that.

    The tone appears hope-drained. Like dreams that dried in her mouth before they could be told to the world. And the ending was something that allowed me to imagine her hinting her desire or how important the secret was to her.

    The piece was shaped nicely. The fact that you regulated how much you wanted to reveal gave it some form of strength. It's like we don't have to know exactly what you are talking about but we can understand your pain.

    That must have been the kind of connection your character longs for.
    | Posted on 2006-05-27 00:00:00 | by ANGELO | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't know if this was written about you. But it feels as if the protagonist is willing to do anything for that person that they love. Sometimes though in order to help those we love we must go against their wishes. Its all for the best.

    But just because they stay secret,
    Doesnít mean they donít exist.

    This sentence inspired me and it spoke of truth. Just because you ignore a problem doesn't mean that it will cease to exist.

    Its always good to speak the truth. Although it is a clichť the truth will set you free.

    Pardon my blabbering. It was a good poem. Keep up the good work.
    | Posted on 2006-05-26 00:00:00 | by Katrinagolden | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, very educational and enlightening. Yep, everyone knows a secret and not speaking of it doesnt erase it.

    Ummm...one thing...I think you should use "then" instead of "than".

    Good write though Kate. Thanks for sharing.
    | Posted on 2006-05-26 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      pretty well writen piece you have here, i found the flow very smooth and easy going with a lot of emotional and deep feelings for a person. i think that this has a little room for improvement, i don't quite understand myself in the fact that there just seems to be something missing, but thats just me and we all have are own ways of looking at things so don't pay any attension to me. believe me it's hard to write any love or dedication poems and this one is very very good in my opinion... well keep it up.

    | Posted on 2006-05-26 00:00:00 | by disturbedx1000 | [ Reply to This ]
      Oooo I love it. But yes, I agree with Samm. I wanna know.
    It made me think of the song, "Secrets don't make friends" Not the words, just the title.

    Although I love the whole thing, I think the end was my favorite.
    "But just because they stay secret,
    Doesnít mean they donít exist."

    Aint that the truth? You're very wise.

    But hey... psssst... *whispering* So whats the secret?

    Ohhh that hyproglo guy is right. "everyone knows a secret and not speaking of it doesnt erase it." Sometimes I wish it did though.
    Oh well.

    As always,
    Very wonderfully done, pal

    Your hero
    | Posted on 2006-06-03 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the last part a lot....You have hit the jackpot when you said:

    But just because they stay secret,
    Doesnít mean they donít exist.

    This reminds me of the Maury show....When someone had an affair and they thought they could keep it secret but then the lie detector tests proved it to be a lie....This so totally reminded me of that. And your ending is so true...
    Just because someone made a promise not to tell that doesn't mean that it didn't happen....Loved it....Still feel like i'm loving it....

    To be honest, i liked your title...That was why i wanted to see what you wrote and i didn't really like the beginning because you described a specific scene that probably should had been in the middle stanzas...then i found that you didn't really talk about an event or you didn't narrate it or described it...You just gave a small detail of the afterthoughts. Nothing bad about that but just thought that i could have been in the scene where it all happened...not the afterthoughts...maybe the afterthoughts too but i wanted to know what happened before...And i didn't really get that...

    But you still hit it with the nail and i adored the ending....

    Anyhow, great job...Hope to see you soon...
    Take care....
    | Posted on 2006-06-15 00:00:00 | by charmedidentity | [ Reply to This ]
      Man this piece speaks so true. Not because you keep it hidden and you never ever speak about it doesn't mean it didn't happen. I really did enjoy reading this.

    Keep up it
    and take care

    | Posted on 2006-06-12 00:00:00 | by Departed One | [ Reply to This ]

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