One day, it began to rain, and fearing the water, I built a shelter for myself thinking it would be better to be dry. Instead, the water was there for me to absorb, prosper and sense. So I have a new home. It has four great walls looming over me with no windows or doors or cracks. The walls are made of guarded emotion which is invisible to everyone around me. Through my eyes, I see fog. I see clouds of despair that block me from the friendly views of the people around me, who can help me. I can only see the surface of each person, never deeply understanding their sorrows, never able to overcome my own. My four great walls protect me, from sadness, anger, friendship and love. I fear these things. When these things seep through my four strong walls, I quickly repair the cracks and build it up again. Then I sit in the middle of my home, and wait longingly for another. My only companion is the object that helps me to repair these cracks. This companion is no friend of mine, however I hold it tightly, knowing it could be the one thing that destroys me yet protects me. I don’t know what to do. I am lost. I live in this vast home; I love it, but hate it. I cannot cope with the strong emotions within myself which can provoke the wrong reaction which could once again, lead me to recover to my one companion. I have my own system where I see the tiniest crack or the least bit of water seeping through, I quickly fix it. This is my strength, my system which has been built and practiced strong over several years, and I have to break this barrier. When the sun comes out and it shines too brightly, I dig a hole and the brighter it shines, the deeper I will go. I have no desire to meet this glowing thing which awaits me patiently. Then I realize it is my friend, the one thing that can lead me to the open world outside of my home. I climb up the hole and see it seeping back through my walls where it cam from to shine its light upon others. Then the rainbow finds its way to me; I gaze at its vibrant presence and mimic the glow of happiness it has to fulfill my own which I do not possess. It begins to rain once more. Will this ever stop? This deranged cycle in which I do not know, in which I fear and cannot acquaint myself to defeat? Why do I fear such friendly things?
My New Home
My new home has four walls built high above the ground,
My new home has a roof that protects me from love, friendship, happiness & sadness,
My new home has been strongly built over the course of 15 years,
My new home has no doors, no windows
My new home has walls that the naked eye cannot see,
My new home, to me, has walls that are opaque,
My new home only allows me to see some things, never everything,
My new home blocks my emotions,
My new home is me.
| I applaud you for your honesty in both the prose and the poem that follows. This honesty give you, as a writer and poet, a strong voice. Don't be afraid and keep expressing your inner self you have talent. the poem was a fine example of open free verse. I will return and read more and I hope you will do the same with my works. ladyauthor1||| Posted on 2006-05-26 00:00:00 | by ladyauthor1 | [ Reply to This ] |