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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Ecnamordots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ViCiOuSWrItEr
    ASL Info:    18/Female/Desolate
    Elite Ratio:    3.97 - 890/865/108
    Words: 172
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1296
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1178



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEcnamordots
    -------------------------------------------


    Kiss my cheek,
    you know I'm weak,
    and baby, it's time you join me in Death.
    Lick my throat
    and watch it bleed
    I don't fear the reaper.
    Grip my hips
    my flesh rips
    baby I'm not afraid.
    I'm built to withstand
    each bit of your sweet six six six
    and I wont turn back
    I wont tremble.
    Drink from my wrist
    you see nothing but deadly mist
    because I'm your poison girl.
    I'll dig my grave
    without hesitation
    as long as I am buried deep inside your heart.
    I'll laugh and play
    during each of your wicked games
    and beg to stand strong
    not to be carried away by wind
    gone with the sin.
    Each time our lips meet
    I'm drowned by your razorblade kisses
    and claimed
    to stay right here in your arms.
    Each time our flesh meets
    I'm burned deep down,
    don't you see, Death is in love with us.
    And with this resurrection
    I'm in heaven tonight,
    to bleed,
    to cry,
    Join me in Death
    one last time.




    Submitted on 2004-05-12 08:48:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Perfect combination! I love the metaphors you use :))) Well, it's also a great talent to write something like this using some interesting phrases from someone's lyrics, it's excellent. I really like the way you have written it. This is probably my favourite part:
    I'll laugh and play
    during each of your wicked games
    and beg to stand strong
    not to be carried away by wind
    gone with the sin.
    The ending is also impressive...Take care!
    See ya later!
    | Posted on 2005-02-03 00:00:00 | by Dana | [ Reply to This ]
      this was very passsionate, the imagery was great...... i really liked the analogies that you used in this great write!
    | Posted on 2004-05-12 00:00:00 | by gigglygirl | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't find describing present or past feeling in that dark scenery exciting, it might be very... creeps-giving and demonic but, well, guess we are simply very different. The poem has got a very nice flow, I can find melody in each sentence, what is a big plus again. Your style is beyond reproach. You describe everything in a detailed and decisive way - I like such writing. I just don't like so-called dark poems or such poets, but it's just my preference. Greg.
    | Posted on 2004-05-12 00:00:00 | by Nightraven | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. Definatly an intresting piece. I loved the imagery and the flow went very nicely.....great write!!!
    | Posted on 2004-05-12 00:00:00 | by darkened_soul | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, it's strnage how you made the passion of love with the suicidal poison of death go together. um, i liked this line, " i'm drowned by your razorblade kisses " It's a new cool way of describing kisses heheh. Anyway, i realy liked this, defintelty a fave
    | Posted on 2004-05-13 00:00:00 | by Little Gal | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm drowned by your razorblade kisses
    That is an awesome little line though i think that razor blade should be seperate but im not sure. Great write i absolutely love it. Very good imagery and wording i could just see it all hapnin. great write
    Pryncess
    | Posted on 2004-05-13 00:00:00 | by PryncessVynom | [ Reply to This ]
      Pretty hot and heavy. The backwards title gave it a nice touch. I could imagine this being turned into one of those Danzig-ish love songs. Not really love, but all carnal, dark, and evil about it (depending on how you look at it). But, i likes.
    ~Aaron
    | Posted on 2004-05-13 00:00:00 | by MusingMinstrel | [ Reply to This ]


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