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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Reasonsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Persephone
    ASL Info:    19/f/ US
    Elite Ratio:    3.53 - 328/352/136
    Words: 165
    Class/Type: Poetry/BrokenHeart
    Total Views: 115
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1073



    Description:
       This is about a friend of mine and her evil boy friend. He really is a mean guy, though I didn't feel like portraing him like that in this. He could be sweet...I guess....


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Reasonsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    "Please, Please I need you..."
    The girl's voice faulters at the end,
    tripping over her own words,
    and then finally lying dead.

    She doesn't know what else to say,
    She's already said to much,
    And she knows in her heart it's over,
    No more kisses, nor even a touch.

    And she doesn't even need to look,
    not at him, not at herself, not now,
    She knows it can't go on,
    She believes it, not a trace of doubt.

    But what harm is there in asking?
    What harm in trying one last time?
    The hurt will be the same,
    So why not give one last try?

    Yet as he, her friend, turns away,
    She feels herself crying bitter tears,
    They were friends first, weren't they,
    Sticking together through all the years.

    Why he has turned so cold then?
    What made him hate her so much?
    She would never guess the reason,
    That he feared it was another she longed to touch.




    Submitted on 2006-05-28 09:59:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Sephe~its so sad, but very powerful at the same time. You have a knack for putting strong emotions into words and I love it. Great write. ~jennah
    | Posted on 2006-06-04 00:00:00 | by jennah | [ Reply to This ]
      Absolute in its ability to make you think about feelings. This poem is effective. I could stay all day and tell you things that I would change in this poem if I had the ability to find problems, but I won't because a poem is never great for the reason of being well written...Poems are great because they have feeling from the heart.

    This poem has feeling.

    In honest reply, Colten
    | Posted on 2006-05-29 00:00:00 | by Colten | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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