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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: "Thank You"dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AfricanPrincess
    ASL Info:    21/F/SA
    Elite Ratio:    4.2 - 222/201/31
    Words: 107
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 1047
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 714



    Description:
       This is a poem i stumbled across reading through an old journal. This poem takes me back to the time in my life when sex was just a physical act to me.....

    The guy i was with confessed he loved but i just couldn't reply


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots"Thank You"dots
    -------------------------------------------


    You carried me in your muscular arms
    Your hands cupping my bosom
    My legs wrapped around your waist

    You lied me down between your sheets
    Your skin engulfing my every inch
    My curves devoured by your eyes

    You kissed me-from neck to ankle
    Your tongue unfolding my lips
    My moans expressed the joy i was recieving

    You were rough but laced me with tenderness
    Your caress dripped with sensuality
    My centre recieved you openly

    You were everything i needed but
    Your emotions got in the way
    My hearts not in it so " Thank You " is all i can say




    Submitted on 2006-05-29 14:45:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I liked this, there was one typo laid not lied. Other than that it was really good, personally I have been in that exact situation where the guys has said he loved me and I just cant return those feelings I mean it was just sex to me but anyway needless to say that relationship didnt work.

    Anyway I really liked this, keep up the good work.

    Babytinkerbelle
    | Posted on 2006-05-30 00:00:00 | by babytinkerbelle | [ Reply to This ]
      DAMN! I hate when that happens! Poor sap. Well, both of them. Yeah, sex...its more than just a "high" to some.

    In the second stanza there...try reading it when you switch the places of the words "skin" and "curves". It kinda sounds pretty cool too, HA!

    Anyway, the end was pretty good. Thanks for sharing.
    | Posted on 2006-05-29 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      You carried me in your muscular arms
    Your hands cupping my bosom
    My legs wrapped around your waist

    You lied me down between your sheets
    Your skin engulfing my every inch
    My curves devoured by your eyes

    You kissed me-from neck to ankle
    Your tongue unfolding my lips

    What a sexual way of expressing that!!! I liked :)

    My moans expressed the joy i was recieving

    You were rough but laced me with tenderness
    Your caress dripped with sensuality
    My centre recieved you openly

    You were everything i needed but
    Your emotions got in the way
    My hearts not in it so " Thank You " is all i can say


    awwwww...sadness at the end. Up until the last verse I would say it was a very sexual piece. Lied could be laid...it sounds better
    Thanks for sharing

    Kate
    xxx
    | Posted on 2006-06-05 00:00:00 | by elephantasia | [ Reply to This ]
      The end ties this one up and makes it a really good piece. Thank-you definitely detaches you, huh?

    I think it describes how he was everything except love. You recieved him openly, admired his body, apparently attracted, but the heart jsut wasn't in it.

    You can visually observe the line consistencies, and it does work well.

    Natasha
    | Posted on 2006-07-25 00:00:00 | by neverland gypsy | [ Reply to This ]
      How many times have I seen and been in this damn situation omg kudos for this write only want the physical or the time during and maybe after but when that point stops that's it too bad not so many guys get caught up...ahh men these days
    | Posted on 2006-08-26 00:00:00 | by Dutchess_aira | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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