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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Tasting sin.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: brokensmile
    Elite Ratio:    3.1 - 241/326/148
    Words: 134
    Class/Type: Poetry/Religious
    Total Views: 976
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 938



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots Tasting sin.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    My mind says feelings should never happen
    Theyíre the stained glass windows
    Depicting a religion that was never true
    But Iíd pray and pray
    Under heavy oak pews
    Scents chewing at the walls of my devotion
    Until weakness was too close
    And the old church burnt down

    Only cement steps and parking spaces
    Sooty footprints to concrete certainty
    Tangible, safer, believable
    Yet disquieting, and unsatisfactory
    Confessions were ashes
    Words beneath them
    Buried as soon as they were spoken

    Did you care?
    No one really knows
    Nails and sacrifice
    You seemed like a real hero
    You walked the bloody path
    In the shoes of the girl you were trying to save
    But death canít save anyone
    And the choice between heaven or hell
    Only made life more complicated.






    Submitted on 2006-05-29 16:22:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      fantastic ending, people so often lose their intensity towards the end but those last lines
    "In the shoes of the girl you were trying to save
    But death canít save anyone
    And the choice between heaven or hell
    Only made life more complicated"
    I thourougly enjoyed this, your writing is very sophisticated. Thanks for a great poem~Sunset
    | Posted on 2006-05-30 00:00:00 | by sunset | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem makes me sad. It is very powerful; for me the choice was simple, but I know that others struggle with it. Peace to you ~jennah
    | Posted on 2006-06-04 00:00:00 | by jennah | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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